Worship is giving back to God what He first gave to us.
He has the hands to shape the clay of her heart.
There is a space inside of me that had to be filled with the Father's voice. Worship is this place... He tells us who we are and then we tell Him who He is. Not that He needs to know it, but we need to hear it. Why do we have to tell God in worship who He is, doesn't He already know that? Maybe it's so we can hear it and start believing it.
To magnify something is not just to make it seem bigger but it's to see something as it really is.
You begin to discover who you are when you discover who He is.
CHRISTMAS EVE
There were 6 of us, (myself, Tina, Margaux, Jade, Tom and Caleb) that came together for a delicious meal on Christmas Eve. After that, we made homemade stockings. These weren't just any ordinary Christmas stockings - they were a combination of Make-Your-Own Stockings from a great place called Poundland (the English version of the Dollar Store), puffy stickers, a sheet and staples:
Once those were all finished, and we were stuffed on delicious made-from-scratch Christmas cookies (made by me and Jade), we decided to play a fantastic charades type game which included slips of paper, a timer, and a sheet (We used every part of that sheet):
After that craziness we decided to settle down a bit and turn on a movie - The Muppet Christmas Carol - and make Christmas cards for each other.
CHRISTMAS DAY!
My day started off on the right foot. I got up and went for a run through my favorite running place - The Nickey Line (see previous post). It was a bit muddy but such a beautiful morning and a great way to begin the day.
Then came a lovingly made breakfast comprised of mini pancakes (the American kind...), eggs (not for me), sausages, croissants, and of course - scones.
Yes, that would be me in the Santa suit. I didn't have a Christmas sweater so I chose the next best thing.
Presents! We opened up our stockings and the little gifts we got for each other. It was nice.
Later that evening, Tina and I began preparations for our Christmas dinner. Now even though there was no Honeybaked Ham involved (as is my usual Christmas tradition), our food was sooo tasty. We made turkey, potatoes (mashed and roasted), cabbage, peas, and Yorkshire Puddings with gravy. We were proud of our accomplishments. It was a first for both of us to cook an entire Christmas dinner. My mother would be proud.
After we were all stuffed, came a few games around the table, a fruit cake of sorts and mulled wine. (I tried it however, I still have not acquired a taste for wine, but I'm not too upset about that.).
So there you have it. My first Christmas in my home away from home. All you family and friends across the pond - you were missed. But I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to share this day with 5 other incredible people. It was grand.
Note: Photo Credit - Caleb McAlpine - Thank you for taking such awesome pictures and sharing them with me.
Strengths Finder - It does exactly that.
It finds what your strengths are.
You take a test online which is a series of paired statements that you answer with which best describes you. You only have 20 seconds to answer each question. Then when the test is completed, it gives you your top 5 strengths. In the book that goes with this, it describes what each strength is as well as managing those strengths in yourself and in others.
These are mine, in order:
ACHIEVER ~ I have an internal fire burning inside me. It pushes me to do more, to achieve more. It brings me the energy I need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt I can always count on to get me started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the theme that keeps me moving.
ADAPTABILITY ~ I live in the moment. I don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, I see it as a place that I create out of the choices I make right now. I discover my future one choice at a time. I don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. I am, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling me in many different directions.
INCLUDER ~ I want to include people and make them feel part of the group. I want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from it's support. I hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. I want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. I am an instinctively accepting person. No one should be ignored. Each of us should be included.
RESPONSIBILITY ~ My responsibility theme forces me to take psychological ownership for anything I commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. If for some reason I cannot deliver, I automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and my impeccable ethics, combine to create my reputation: utterly dependable. My willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead me to take on more than I should.
DEVELOPER ~ I see the potential in others. Each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And I am drawn toward people for this very reason. I am on the lookout for the signs of growth - a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence where previously there were only halting steps. For me these small increments - invisible to some - are clear signs of potential being realized. Signs of growth in others are my fuel.
I arrived on the base, Highfield Oval, after a long day of travel. I was a bit out of it, considering I slept maybe an hour or 2 on the plane over. I was awake roughly 30 hours or so. However, it helps to do that. Jetlag? Not a big deal.
This last week we had Staff Orientation. There are 10 other new staff members to Harpenden, 5 of which were from my own DTS, so we had a good time of getting to know one another (again) and getting to know everyone else on base and a whole lot of other things about YWAM, about YWAM Harpenden and so much more. Lots and lots of information. We talked all about the history of this place, the values of this place, how things work here, and we caught glimpses of what life here will be like as staff.
So what other things did we do? Well, one day, there was a bit of a scavenger hunt in the wonderful town that is Harpenden:
We won.
We played a game about getting to know all the staff on base, attended my first staff meetings, took staff pictures, had an excellent morning workout, had a great time of prayer and worship, a great breakfast together and so much more. Overall, it was a great week.
Speaking of which, it is definitely an adjustment transitioning from student to staff. Last time I was here, I was a student. This time, it's totally different. There are plenty of familiar faces but the number of new faces far out weigh that. But it's good. It's been fun meeting all those faces. But as staff, my role here is definitely different, and with that comes more responsibilities and expectations. On one hand, it's a lot to take in all at once, but on the other hand, this is how you grow. You get put into new situations and circumstances and let God challenge you. I'm definitely going to be challenged.
But I'm excited to be challenged alongside some amazing people. We, as DTS staff, gathered this evening for a night of typical English tea time treats, talking about the week to come and watching the finale of the X-Factor. Good times were had. But as we were sitting there watching and talking and laughing together, I got so excited that I get to be a part of this incredible team that God has brought together. Really.
Air New Zealand might be my new favorite international airline.
I write this within the first hour of this 9 hour flight from LAX to London Heathrow. Why now? Simply put, I didn't want to forget any detail of this:
My travels started in San Francisco on a delayed United flight. Nothing too special about this one except maybe the 25 minute nap I had on a 50 minute flight. I landed at LAX where I connected to my next flight. So that was all good and fine.
Then came time to board my very first Air New Zealand airplane. Not only was I met by friendly people with awesome accents, but as I turned the corner, what should I see in the front door? BAM - purple lights.
I reached my window seat near the back of the plane to find the middle seat next to me empty. I love when that happens.
Now usually, there is a somewhat boring video going through all the safety information that you don't have a choice but to watch. But let me tell you, those kiwi's sure know how to made a GOOD safety video. THE best I've ever had the pleasure of watching.
It started off just like any other, but then, and this is no joke, who should pop up on the screen, spandex and all, but the one and only - Richard Simmons. YES. That happened. And he wasn't alone in his spandex, he had his little posse of other exercisers in the background head to toe in spandex. I wish I could go into full detail of that video but I'll just say, it was AAAAMAZING. There was Richard doing his thing of pumping us up to put on our life jackets and oxygen masks (in the event of an emergency, of course) followed by a cameo by the host of The Amazing Race showing us the proper position to brace yourself in case the plane is going down. It ended with a shot of quite the party in the plane. A party that was getting a little out of hand as there was a little old naked lady (don't worry, the important parts were blurred out) dancing down the aisle.
I don't think any other flights safety video will EVER compare.
After that wonderful experience, we took off. I had Bon Iver playing in my ears and the California sunset over the ocean out my window.
Monday Nail Day - YWAM SF
I gave a beautiful lady a French(ish) manicure.
That's right.
White tip and all.
There truly is a first time for everything.
I had never done that before so when she asked me to do the white tip for her, I kind of looked at her and was like - uhhh - I can try but it might not look that great. So she kind of laughed and said, "It's ok, you'll do fine." (Ok sure...)
Well I got the white nail polish out and was getting ready to do it and I just started laughing at how ridiculous it was what I was doing at that moment. I looked at her and told her I was nervous and didn't want to mess it up. But she just kept smiling, encouraging me that I would do fine. So she sat there with her shaking hand in mine as I applied the white tip to the pinky. Not bad. Then came the ring finger. Ok, this isn't turning out as horribly as I thought. Then the next couple fingers. Hey, this actually looks somewhat decent. After each nail I imperfectly painted, she would take a second to look at my work exclaiming, "That's so good!" then put her hand back in mine so I could finish.
It was most definitely not professional quality by any means, but I have to say, it looked good.
I was proud.
So was she.
Which made me happy.
But I think what I loved most about this time was not just the fact that I did pretty well on my first time doing something like that, but I was able to just really enjoy her company. It felt like I was just hanging out with a friend, even though I had just met her and knew very little about what her life has been like up to this point. We were both chatting and laughing and having a good time together.
After I put on the top coat to finish it off, I got to pray for her. As I was praying, her grip on my hands got tighter and tighter. God was doing something in her heart at that moment. I pray He continues.
That is just one story from my final Monday helping out at the YWAM base in San Francisco for Nail Day. I'll miss it.
We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.
~2 Corinthians 3:4-5
Today was a good day.
Around 12:05 this afternoon (exactly - I checked my clock), after having a delicious bowl of oatmeal, I left my house to head to the YWAM base in San Francisco, as has been my routine each Monday for the past month. (More on that in a bit). On my drive to the city I started thinking about the fact that I am going to be DTS Staff at YWAM Harpenden for the January 2012 IMPACT UK DTS. (I think about that a lot.) That's a big title, in my opinion, and at times, a bit frightening. I feel that with a title like that, so much expectation is thrown onto me and I automatically have to be this amazing person with a huge vision of what I want to see happen in this world. The truth is, right now, I'm not.
But that's ok.
I'm broken, I'm a mess, I'm not perfect, I stumble, I'm weak, I fail, I don't have all the answers, I have so many fears, so many doubts, so many insecurities...
I seem to constantly question what in the world I'm doing going back as staff with YWAM. I question what my role will be, how I will fit into the staff already there, what part I will play in the lives of the people I will meet and so on. To sum up - I feel I am no where near qualified to be in the position I'm going into. But those things shouldn't matter. What matters is the purpose of it all. 'To know God and make Him known'. To show people that they don't have to be perfect in order to be loved by this incredible God. They already are.
Here is the amazing thing: God sees passed all my weaknesses to the person that I really am, the person He has created me to be. And He wants to use me, all of me, even the weak parts, to reach out to those in need. And I know that He has brought me to this particular place for a reason and I can't wait to see what that will be.
"Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossip, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Abraham was old...and Lazarus was dead.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called."
~Outlive Your Life - Max Lucado
On this drive to the city, I feel God showed me a little something of what my place could potentially be - I have a heart for really being there for people and supporting them in any way that I can and making sure they are ok. That may seem small but for me, that's huge. I know how much of an impact those people, those that were really there for me and invested so much of their lives into me, made on my life. So I know the difference that can make. And I feel that I am able in some way to help make that difference. I'm not a big ideas person right now. But I will give everything I am to be consistent in being there and supporting and serving in any way that I possibly can; whether it's the students or other staff or all the people we are going to meet on outreach. It's through God's love and strength, and only that, which allows me to do this and gives me the desire to do this with my whole heart. It's what I know how to do so I'm going to do it.
God created me this way.
It's not about me this time, it's about them and it's about God. I see that a bit better this time.
So going back to San Francisco today - For the last 4 Monday's, I've been giving manicures to women off the streets in The Tenderloin. That's a sentence I never thought I would utter. This is definitely one of those things that I am, under no circumstance whatsoever, qualified to be doing. (I could hardly do my own nails let alone be responsible for making someone else's look nice). But I'm doing it. And it's not just about the nails, it's about the person who sits in front of me each time. They each have a story. And I have the chance to be a part of that story just by being there and talking to them and praying for them, and doing something small and simple to show that there is a God who loves them and sees them as beautiful.
So I say again:
We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ. It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine this evening. I answered the phone and she immediately started out by telling me that I somehow neglected to tell her that I was going to be leaving for potentially 2 years.
Oops.
Then it hits me - I'm leaving. For a long time. A very long time.
I've been slowly coming to the realization of what my current situation is. Every day it gets closer, my heart starts to race a bit more. I begin to have almost every emotion in the book - I'm excited, I'm terrified, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I'm ecstatic...and so on.
My life has taken an incredibly unexpected and unimaginable turn this past year, well I guess the last 3 years. At the beginning of my DTS, one of my staff members said to me that moving to California was in God's good plan for my life. At first I had a hard time believing that for reasons which require far too much explanation to go into here. But now, I absolutely believe that with all my heart and I thank God that this was in His good plans.
With this new life creeping up on me faster each day, I have been able to see how incredibly blessed I am. I have realized how many amazing people I have been able to meet since moving to California, people I couldn't imagine my life without now. I've made such great friends here and grown closer to family. In addition to that, I have seen the amazing relationships that have continued even through all these miles between me and those in Colorado. I thank God everyday for those that have stuck with me.
Well hello there! Welcome to my new and potentially improved blog. I figured I'm getting ready to begin a crazy new adventure so why not start a new blog? Ok. Here we go.
In case you haven't heard, though I hope you have, if all goes according to plan with my visa and such, I will be heading back to YWAM Harpenden in England the first week of December. Soon? Yes. Very, very soon. I have committed to being on staff there for 2 years. Crazy, I know. For the first 8 months I will be on staff for the IMPACT UK January 2012 DTS. If you want more information click on the FYI tab and it will give you a list of websites that will give you more information on what YWAM is, what a DTS is, what this upcoming DTS is and all that other great information.
Prayer Request - That my visa would be approved and returned to me as quickly as possible so I can make it to England in time for staff training.
So take a look around and if you have any questions, comments or would like to support me please, please, please feel free to contact me at any time.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
~NLT
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
~The Message
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
"Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God our Father."
James 1:17 (NLT)
Let me tell you 2 stories. Well, essentially, they are the same story.
Story #1
A long time ago, the Israelites were being led out of Egypt by Moses. They were in the wilderness between Elim and Mount Sinai and they were hungry.
"Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Look, I'm going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.'"
To make a longish story shortish, when they first saw the food that God had sent them, they had no idea what it was or what to do with it. They had to be told that this was the food that God was providing for them. So some did as they were told and went out and gathered up just as much as they needed and 'when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over and those who gathered only a little had enough.' Whatever wasn't gathered up that day disappeared from the ground. Morning by morning, the people were able to gather up the food that God provided and have just what they needed.
Not so long ago, there were these two guys, Mike and Sam, who decided they wanted to live the life of a homeless person for 5 months. (There's a lot more to this story but that's pretty much all you need to know for this story to make sense).
Mike and Sam were in San Francisco and they were hungry.
A man walked by them with a box of leftover pizza and Mike shouted out and asked him if he was going to finish it. The man looked at the box then back at Mike and Sam and said, "No" and he gave them the box. Mike and Sam had the pleasure of finishing off half a pepperoni pizza. And it was just what they needed.
It's easy to see how these two stories are similar - some people were hungry so God gave them some food. But the author of Under the Overpass, Mike, takes it one step further:
After they had finished eating the leftover pizza, Mike said to Sam,
"What do you think would have happened if the Israelites hadn't gone out and picked up the manna God sent? I mean, don't you think they would have starved if they never actually went out and picked the manna off the ground?"
When I read this, I had to reread it a few times for it to sink in a bit. After some sinking in time, I began to see it more and more in my own life. When I got home from England, an opportunity literally fell into my hands. What an opportunity that was. When it was over, I didn't know what to do next. I'll be honest, for a while, I was just waiting for someone else to offer me something. Well, it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes it does. But sometimes, well more often than not, opportunities present themselves in ways that I may not recognize. Just like the Israelites, at first glance, I may not recognize what or how God is providing, how He is working. But that's just it, He is still providing, still working. I just need to go pick it up.
"God answered our prayers for provision, but we still had to ask these guys for it. We still had to 'pick up the manna.'"
Here is the point of me telling you these 2 stories - the message is the same now as it was then. God continues to provide exactly what we need when we need it. We just have to go out and get it.
These two stories have been such a challenge and such an encouragement for me recently. It's given me a new perspective on things. It helps me to have that attitude of going out and picking up whatever God throws down - church, jobs, volunteer work, the next steps. Sometimes it's good, other times it may not be so good and that's ok. The point is simply to go out knowing and trusting that God knows what He is doing. He knows what I'm thinking and feeling, He knows my worries and doubts and He sees when I go out. "You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head." Psalm 139:5 (NLT) Everyday, EVERY day, God is providing, God is showing His love and it is there for the taking.
"I wonder how much we miss because we're unwilling to pick it up."
God is providing.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,"
declares the Lord.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is My word that goes out from My mouth:
It will not return to Me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;"
Isaiah 55:8-12
So I'm living up here at Camp Redwood Glen in the Santa Cruz mountains, coordinating 2 outreaches.
How crazy is that statement considering I was on the other side of the world just 2 weeks ago?
Yep, life is funny.
I have been realizing more and more of how much I love my life right now. I have just come back from an incredible adventure full of amazing new relationships, life changing experiences, learning more about myself and who God is and just so much more. Now here I am with the opportunity to take all of that, take all that I have learned and all I have become and continue to put it into practice here. In my wildest dreams, I could have never imagined that my life would be like it is at this very moment. I love it.
On graduation night of my DTS, we were told how important it was going to be to do just one thing:
REMEMBER
As simple as that one word may be, there's a whole lot to remember from the last 6 months. At first, I was a bit worried that it would be so easy to forget everything that I have learned and everything I have done and just go back to how my life was before I left. As I was traveling around Europe (no big deal) I was reminded that God won't let me forget. That He would be there to help me remember. And He is indeed doing that.
As I have said, I will be doing a week of training for the people that are going one these 2 outreaches. So in preparation for that, I have been going through my Jotter Pad full of copious notes from lectures and attempting to condense 3 months worth of notes into just a couple days. (A bit of a challenge). In reading through my notes and just thinking and praying, God has continued to remind me of so many of the incredible things He did in me and through me the last 6 months and even before that. I am remembering the person that I was before DTS and seeing how that has changed and seeing the person that I am now. And to be able to share these with someone else, well that's just a big bonus. I would love to go into more detail about everything that I keep being reminded of but that would just take forever. But one thing I will say is that I love the person that God has made me to be and I want to continue to be that person.
One thing (among others) that I have been challenged with is simply to trust God. I was recently reading a friend's blog and at the end of one of his posts he said,
"But I trust Him to finish the work He began. I trust Him with my forever."
That just really got to me and got me thinking a lot about how I just need to trust God with my future and stop stressing myself out and trying to make my own plans. I'm so impatient when it comes to figuring out life but I have been reminded over and over that God knows the story of my life better than I do because He is the one writing it. And the stories that He can write are far more creative and more incredible then I could ever write or even think to write. At the beginning of lecture phase, they gave us a verse for our school:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
God has shown me over and over that He knows what He is doing and His timing is perfect.
Now is just another time that I really need to put my trust in that.
Put my trust in Him.
Trust Him with my forever.
"God has wisely kept us in the dark concerning future events and reserved for himself the knowledge of them, that He may train us up in the dependence upon himself and a continued readiness for every event."
I've been home for almost 2 weeks now. Being home is a bit strange but I'm enjoying it thus far.
Jet lag - I'm not so much a fan of it. It's pretty interesting to leave one country at 2 in the afternoon and after 10 hours in the air get to another country at 4 in the afternoon...on the same day. A little weird.
This past week I have just been doing lots of visiting people. Visiting family, friends, camp, etc. It's definitely good to see everyone again and catch up a bit on life. As well as eat some of this delicious food...
It's official - After 6 years of having a license, I no longer have a perfect driving record. Sad day. I was on a long 3 hour journey home the other day and at one point in the drive I decided to jinx myself and say that one of these days I'm going to get a ticket for driving a 'bit' over the speed limit. Well, no joke, an hour later, I come to the bottom of a hill and who should I see but a nice California police officer get into his car. I knew he was coming after me. Which he was. Awesome. Welcome home. But to my surprise, I didn't cry. But I might cry later when I find out how much I will have to pay...
So what am I up to now? Well, first of all, this is my new room for the next couple weeks:
Just before I left England, I had my first week back all planned out with who I was going to go visit and when I would go visit them and all that. I realized a bit later - "Ok, that's great for the first week back but then what? What's going to happen after that first week?" But I was once again reminded that God provides:
I am currently coordinating 2 different outreaches for the summer staff at Camp Redwood Glen. Yep. Crazy. I will be contacting the churches that are hosting the 2 teams and coming up with a schedule for different outreach opportunities in the areas. I am really excited about this. At first I had my doubts but I got over that real quick. It is so incredible that this opportunity came up just 2 days after I get home. Seriously. How do things like this happen? Not only will I be planning the outreach itself, but I am also going to be doing some training for them to get them ready to go on an outreach. I am so excited to be able to share some of my story of the last 6 months by bringing things that I have learned and experienced and what God has done in my life back here. This is something that I never would have thought I would or even could ever be doing but here I am doing it.
Welp, we did it. We made it through the last 6 months together. It's so crazy to think that it's over right now. We graduated and celebrated and then cried and said our goodbyes. We have all definitely become such a close family.
What a week.
Tuesday, 21 June 2001 - I graduated DTS. Crazy. Where did the last 6 months go?
While the night was great - full of pictures and stories and praise to God for what He has done and of course a diploma of sorts and a little trip to the pub afterwards - the morning was not. Goodbyes are no fun at all. It didn't start hitting me that it is over until about half way through the long 22 hour day of periodic goodbyes. I won't go into detail about how many tears were shed but it was a rough day for everyone. Though as hard as that day was, I would rather have a day like that, a day of heartbreaking goodbyes, then to have missed out on this incredible opportunity. It is when your heart just breaks for something that makes you realize just how much it means to you and that it was real.
Over these last 6 months, we really had become such a tight family. That's what tends to happen when you live with each other every single day for that long. It's so crazy to think back to the first day that I was here. I came to the airport not knowing anything, just looking for any sign that said YWAM and so began my crazy adventure. How was I to know that the people I met there would become family? How was I to know that all those awkward ice breaker games in the very beginning would lead to great friendships? Just thinking about things like this just bring up so many more memories from the beginning that have led to where I am today. Again I say - Crazy.
DTS is over. Now what?
What do you do with your life after something like this has happened to you? It's a tough question. I don't know yet. I wish I did. I wish I could tell you all my elaborate plans for what to do with the rest of my life but I can't. I barely know what I'm doing to be doing the next couple weeks or months let alone years. I'm just taking it one step at a time and being patient that the right opportunity will present itself in God's perfect timing. It happened that way when I decided to come to the other side of the world for 6 months, it can happen again. But here's the beauty of it - I can pretty much do anything I want. So many doors have been opened for what I could do and what I would want to do.
"being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion."
The one thing that I do know is that God will not leave me hanging. He's not going to put me through something like this, something that brought so many close relationships and amazing experiences and joy and then just make me fend for myself. He will continue to lead and guide me as long as I keep seeking His leading and His guidance.
First of all - The name of this place is most definitely not pronounced as it is spelled. Silly, I know.
Here is where I will go into a bit more detail about what we did in Worcester, South Africa during outreach. We were staying at this place called Kibbutz El Shammah which is right next to the neighborhood knows as Roodewal (I think that's how it is spelled).
There were about 4 or 5 of these circles of flats in the area. One of the first days we were there, we were just walking through the community and we most definitely attracted quite the crowd. And by crowd, I mean over 100 children. Seriously. We were surrounded. They fought just to hold our hand and wanted to know our names and they just wanted to be with us. After a couple days, whenever we would walk through the flats, there was always at least 5 kids who would yell out your name no matter where you went.
Durning the morning we would split off into different groups - one group went and worked in the primary school teaching English classes. Some went to help out in the preschool, and some did practical work around the area.
There were a couple days when I had the opportunity to go help out in a 2nd grade class. The teacher's name was Vera and she is pretty much amazing. Her class is full of 43 crazy 2nd graders. There was one day in particular that I got to help a couple tables with math. It was so much fun to be able to teach them how to do something and then watch them actually be able to understand it and do it for themselves. Then they wanted to go help their friends do the problems. It also helped me to learn how to count to 10 in Afrikaans real well.
When we first got there, we were asked if we could lead their church service that Sunday which was about 4 days away. So we planned and put together a church service and everyone was able to be involved. We had worship, testimonies, a drama, and a message. It was the first time that I led a couple worship songs to a larger group of people like that. It was so cool to be able to step out in that way and the whole service went really well.
Each day for a week we would go on a prayer walk through the flats. One day, 3 older ladies waved at me to come over to them and they asked me if I could pray for them. So I asked what they wanted prayer for and they told me simply for financial provision. Nothing specific, just simply that. So I did and then I went on my way. The next day at the same time, we went on our prayer walk again and those same 3 ladies were sitting in the same spot so I immediately went over to them to say hello and they were excited to see me and they had stories to tell me. One of them didn't have enough money for a loaf of bread (a loaf of bread cost about 7 South African Rands which is about 1 US dollar). She was telling me that after I had prayed for them, her son came over to her and gave her enough money that she needed for a loaf of bread to feed her and the children she watches over. Then another lady was telling me a long (and somewhat hard to understand) story of how she didn't have enough money to pay her electric bill for the month. Long story short, the lady that was helping her as she was trying to pay offered to pay the rest of her bill for her. So her electric bill was payed for the rest of the month. God provides.
Wow, as I write all of this, so many more stories keep coming to my mind about what we did - we did a lot.
On one of our last nights there, we held an open air in the flats. The stage was the back of a bakkie (aka - truck). So we had some worship, some of the girls performed a dance which was so great and Helena and I gave our testimonies. It was hard to speak to a group of people with a translator because you have to keep stopping and starting but I really liked it for how nervous I was about it at first. I've never been the biggest fan of speaking in front of people but it wasn't so bad when I actually got up there and started speaking.
Even though it was a hard place to be, we were able to develop a lot of different relationships with the people at the schools, at the Kibbutz and in the flats. There are so many more things that we did in Worcester. One thing that was brought up here that we realized for each place we went was that our group was hand-picked to be in the place we were at that time. God's timing is perfect. As we were driving away, there was a huge line of little children screaming at us saying goodbye followed by the rest of the staff at the Kibbutz waving us goodbye.
One of my favorite days was when we got to climb Table Mountain in Cape Town. Even though I totally destroyed my pants, it was so much fun and it was so beautiful no matter how cold it was at the top. We conquered that mountain together. Definitely one of my highlights.
As already stated, outreach has officially ended. We are all finally back together here on the oval.
Strange? Yes.
Great? Yes.
Overwhelming? Definitely.
Now comes the time when I get to realize more about what the heck I just did the last 5 or so months. So whilst I process things, I just wanted to tell some stories:
I'm going to go a bit backwards with my story telling and talk about our last outreach location first since it is freshest on my mind. Newcastle Upon Tyne. Overall - LOVED it. Seriously. I think all of us, to some degree, loved Newcastle. Our first day there, we were all smiles and just really happy to be there.
When we got there, we had a little meeting with the pastors of the church we were helping out - Tyneside Vineyard - and talked a bit about their story and how they came to be up there planting this church and we looked at what our schedule was going to be like during our time there. It was all pretty exciting stuff and we were going to be doing things that were completely different from everything we did in Africa. We did a lot of flyering, as it was their big invite week, we passed out chocolate bars in the busy streets, we passed out free water on the street out by a row of night clubs (some very interesting and entertaining stories came out of that), and we helped out twice with a big craft event for kids. I loved how every singe day we were there, we were able to do something totally different. No day was ever the same.
One day, long story short, we made some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and went around and passed them out. Our group split up a bit and Duane and I ended up walking through the streets basically looking for homeless people to give a sandwich to. We had no idea where we were walking but the streets just looked cool so we went exploring a bit and stumbled across a homeless man sitting against the wall. So we gave him a sandwich and some candy and just sat and talked with him. He was definitely under the influence but he was hurting. He has been on the streets for the last 7 months, he had been to war in Afghanistan and had gotten shot, and both his wife and daughter died in a car crash. He felt so guilty and so hopeless. It's hard to find the words to say in that situation but sometimes, people just need someone to care and to listen to them. So after talking with him for a bit we prayed for him and went on our way. His name was Max.
The church runs this compassion ministry called Storehouse. At Storehouse, homeless and needy people can come on a Saturday morning and get a cup of tea and biscuits, a sausage roll and some pot noodles. They will also get given a couple articles of clothing or anything else that they might need. It is also just a really great place for people to come and just have good chats with people in a good environment. So this one morning, a new lady came in so me and another volunteer chatted with her and filled in a form for her. As we were talking to her, she was saying just how sick she felt and she looked sick as well. She had an alcohol problem and she had been on the streets for almost a month and already couldn't take it anymore. I had no idea what to say to her so I just stayed quiet and listened. So we brought in another volunteer to come over and talk with her too because he had been in her exact situation not that long ago and was able to change his life around. So he was telling her what she could do to change things and as he was talking, she just had a bit more hope in her eyes and would look up occasionally and just smile and you could see the hope. And I just loved it how the other volunteer I was sitting with kept telling her to make sure she comes back to Storehouse because they wanted to watch over her and help her and take care of her in any way they could. Her story and her situation just broke my heart and I just couldn't help but cry. Her name was Sam.
HOTS - Healing On The Streets. The name alone sounds a bit crazy. Af first I was a bit worried about it but when the day actually came to do it, the same day I met Sam, I was excited, nervous, and a bit anxious but not as worried as I was before. I actually really liked how it was set up and how it was run. We went to the monument which is basically one of the main centers in Newcastle, set up some chairs and a big banner that said "Healing" and waited for people who wanted to get prayer for healing or just for anything really. Crazy, I know. I was teamed up with one of the people from the church so I was actually able to pray for quite a few people, 8 or 9, which was really cool. What we do is when they sit in the chair, you kneel down next to them and ask a bit about them and start off by telling them how much God loves them, then you start praying for whatever it is they wanted prayer for. But the thing is, when you are praying for them, you don't take your eyes off of them. It definitely can be quite awkward when you are praying for someone and they are looking right into your eyes as you are speaking, but I discovered something about that. Usually, I would always pray with my eyes closed because that is just what you do. But praying for someone as you are looking directly at them changes things. I was able to feel so much more compassion for them and actually see them as a person who just wants to know that they are loved. It was cool to be able to help someone have that moment with God where they really do feel just how loved they are. One lady we prayed for, it was so cool just be praying for her and to see her just smile because she really knew that God loved her. If my eyes had been closed, I wouldn't have been able to see that. We may not have seen spectacular miracles that day, but I know that it made a significant difference to those people's days.
I hope these couple stories will suffice for the time being.
Outreach is officially over. How the heck did this happen? We are all finally back on the oval in beautiful Harpenden. What were once leafless trees are now very full of life everywhere I look. It's pretty crazy to be back here after all this time. It really is so crazy to look at what I just did - I just spent the last 10 weeks with the same 13 people traveling down to South Africa and up to Newcastle. We went up a mountain, we played frisbee on the beach, we prayed for people, we taught young kids, we led a church service, we did some more praying (there was lots of that), we worked our butts off on a farm, gave food to grannies, we sang a lot, we talked to homeless people, we gave away chocolate and water...so many things. What a crazy adventure. (More stories will come).
So what have I learned from this experience? Well that's what I hope to find out very soon. There is just so much that happened in all of the places that we went - so many different experiences, so many different settings and people and places and things to do. I know that there is a lot to learn from what I just did and also a lot that I already have learned and things that have changed in my heart and in my mind. I'll let you know when I know.
What will I do now after DTS? Well, I have no idea...Well that's a slight lie, I may have some inkling as to a possibility that would require a huge step of faith. I am still very much in the process of making decisions which I absolutely hate doing but that is the price you pay for growing up, right?
But I just wanted to say a quick thank you so much for your continued love and support in this journey. And it has been quite the journey, I must say. But what is cool is that though this DTS experience may be coming to an end in just a week and a half, this is just the beginning.
Well hello! I would like to apologize for my absense. Internet and time has been a bit hard to come by. But here I am. I just wanted to give a little glimpse into some of the stuff I've been up to. Bear in mind, this is the very short and condensed version...
HOPE FARM: Lots of work - shoveling, picking, wheelbarrowing, dirt moving, path-making, weed picking, duck, goose, and chicken chasing, lots and lots of animals and children...That sums it up pretty well I'd say. Our time here was definitely more practical work and it was cool to be able to see the change that we made on the farm to make it better for them. Also a part of it was a place called Thembisa. It is a place for grannies who take care of orphans can go and so we helped pass out food and had opportunities to pray for them. They are incredible people with such a passion for God.
KIBBUTZ EL SHAMMAH - A little bit of practical work, working with kids in the primary school and preschool and a bit at the high school, prayer walks, little children hanging on to me and shouting my name wherever I went, more praying and fasting, a bit of worship leading and testimony giving. It is most definitely a heavy place but it was the most amazing community feel.
NEWCASTLE - This is my current location. Bascially, I love it here. We are working with a newish church called Tyneside Vineyard so we have been helping them out in a few different areas.
DAYS OFF - Climbing Table Mountain in Cape Town - fantastic. Getting rained out at the Indian Ocean beach, cramming in buses, exploring Newcastle and surrounding areas.
This absolutely does not do it all justice but I just wanted to give a quick overview of things. More will come later, don't you worry.
6 hours later - Arrive in Dubai - the biggest airport I have ever been in my entire life.
13 hours later - leave Dubai for Cape Town. At this point we don't smell so good and Teresa wanted new socks. We get on the plane and what should the flight attendants give us? Some new socks.
9 hours later - Arrive in Cape Town and run through customs because our flight was going to leave in 45 minutes only to find out it was delayed - the first time I have been happy for a delayed flight.
2 hours later - Leave for Durban
Another 2 hours later - Arrive in Durban in what felt like the shortest plane ride ever.
So finally - Thursday night, we all arrived at Hope Farm.
More to come later. But pretty much, it is beautiful here and I like it a lot and I'm excited for all that we are going to get to do here.
Well hey there. Just a quick little update - I am leaving tomorrow. That is weird.
5 people from our group are already on their way to Africa and the rest of us leave tomorrow morning. We will be leaving the oval at 6AM. Again - that is weird. We start with a 6ish hour flight to Dubai and then we will be sleeping in the airport for 12 hours (oh so exciting) and then another long flight to Cape Town and then a not as long flight to Durban. We should be there sometime by Thursday. That's a lot of traveling... So yeah, just wanted to let those that actually read this know that after today, I will be phoneless with limited internet access. I'll try to keep this as updated as I can.
Please pray for me and the rest of my team and that God would get all of us there safely and would continue to just bless us as we begin this crazy new adventure. I'm excited and scared and anxious and nervous and every other emotion you can be.
The time is fast approaching for us to go on outreach. It is so crazy to think that we are in week 11 of lecture phase and just next week we will all be leaving this oval which has become home. I feel like every day I ask myself, how in the world did I get here? How did I get to this place? How crazy is it that God has brought all of us here to this exact place at this exact time with each other? God definitely knows what He is doing.
So as lecture phase is coming to an end, I'm finding myself wondering - what have I learned? I think a better question is what haven't I learned? Each week has brought on a new topic and a new set of challenges and new things to think about, new things to learn. Each week has been so different for so many reasons. If I were to write down everything that I have learned, this would be the longest blog post ever. So I will leave you with some bullet points that will not do it justice but that's alright...
I have learned so much about who I am and who God is. So simple but so true.
God knows exactly what I need and He knows exactly how to provide it for me in a way that is absolutely perfect for me.
God is a gentlemen.
God loves me more than I could ever know. He wants me just to BE. It is out of my becoming that I will do all the stuff.
I like running.
When I ask questions, God answers.
God just wants me to know how much He loves me.
Everything I have has been given to me by God. It is about taking everything that I am blessed with and turning it around and turn it into a blessing for someone else.
I can rest contented in His love
I can trust the process and find beauty in it.
There is so much more but it is hard to condense it all into this. So that's just a little taste...
Here is just a bit of information about what is coming up in the next week. We are in our last week of lectures which is about Stewardship - taking care of something that belongs to someone else. Next week we will begin having more of a focus on outreach prep. My group has been accidently split into 2 different groups - the first group of just 5 people will be leaving on Tuesday April 5 and the rest of us will be leaving on Wednesday April 6. We will be flying down to Cape Town then get on another plane to Durban which we will be at for the first 3 weeks or so. (Hopefully by the time I get there I will be able to fill you in more on what we will be doing and all that). It is coming up so soon, it's hard to get my head around it.
Things to pray for:
A safe trip for both of the groups - to get there safely with all of our stuff.
That we would be such a strong team and such a strong support for each other. Without that support between all of us, we won't be able to do what God wants for us to do.
Finances - that each person would be able to come up with the right amount of money to pay off all of the fees and flights.
That we would be able to put all trust and faith in God during this time. This is such a big thing and we most definitely need God in it all. Please pray that we would completely rely on God because none of us are perfect and we can do nothing on our own strength. It is in our weakness that He sends us out.
Please also keep in mind the other half of my DTS who will be going to Tanzania and Kenya.
The people on my team:
Leaders -
Gareth
Cindy
Louise
Kaylan
Laura
Teresa
Helena
Karina
Sarah
Maria Augusta
Kellie
Caleb
Colby
Duane
Thank you so much for your love and support during this time. I am definitely excited to see what God is going to do with all of us in the coming weeks. Please continue to pray for us as we head out from the safety of the Oval. Pray that we would be such a strong team and would really be able to put into practice everything that we have learned during our time here so far.
