14 December 2013

Saturday Breakfast.

Saturday Breakfast.

When I hear those 2 words put together like that, I can't express the joy that goes through my heart.  And my stomach.

Saturday Breakfast.

Out of all the inconsistencies and unexpected changes in life, one thing has remained faithful.

Saturday Breakfast.

(It might not always be on a Saturday but that's almost irrelevant.)

It's Friday.  The end of the week.  The weekend is coming and a gloriously hopeful and potential filled question circulates through my mind.

"What am I going to have for breakfast tomorrow?"

This is an exciting quest to ponder of.  Now our normal breakfasts here are all fine and dandy complete with toast and peanut butter and jams of all flavors, cereal, fruit, more peanut butter, tea and the like.  But there's something so great about being able to leisurely wake up and contemplate what creativity I can conjure out of the week's leftovers in the galley.  The choice of the day is almost always eggs.  (Though sometimes buckwheat pancakes and bacon or french toast with caramelized apples makes an appearance...)  I hop up on the counter to reach the egg cupboard, crack them open, whisk it with salt, pepper, and a bit of thyme (along with the inevitable time/thyme jokes...), and make my way to the fridge for what delicious veggies are available for my consumption.  I compile them on the cutting board and chop.  As the cooking process begins, there is an aroma ever so pleasing.  I plate it well (presentation always makes food taste better), sit at the table with knife and fork in hand, (knife in the right and fork in the left like a proper adult) and enjoy what lies before me.

Ahhhh.

Saturday Breakfast.

I don't quite know how to best express in words the goodness that is Saturday Breakfast.

But it's good.

   

26 November 2013

First Watch

Don't give up on the first watch.

Here's how it goes:
Alarm goes off at 7:20.
I hit snooze a couple times then slowly use all of my core muscles to hoist myself out of bed on a rocking boat.
I put on my spectacular brightly colored green waterproof trousers and my wellies.  (Kellie's Wellies...)
I put those essential pieces in my eyes so I can see the world.
I grab my coat and go.
Next, I fill a little green plastic cup with corn flakes and mix in some delicious homemade apple sauce (with just a touch of bourbon cooked in for added flavor...) for breakfast.
Then it's up the stairs to the wheelhouse.

The watch gets passed over to me, I check the sails, check the course, and we pray and it begins.

But then comes the feeling that no one enjoys - seasickness.  A feeling that I am coming to know a bit more than I would have ever cared for.  It affects you in every possible way.  It's a hard feeling to describe to those who have not experienced it in full effect but it's not so much fun.

I race to the rail outside and hang out over the side with some not so nice things coming back up through my system.  There goes dinner.  I like to keep my peas inside my stomach, thank you very much.

I come back in, quite a bit more refreshed (again, it's a feeling that is so very difficult to explain...), then I grab a piece of toast to fill my stomach up again.  But then the thought that is always circulating through the back of my mind surfaces yet again and I think to myself...

I.  CAN'T.  DO.  THIS.

I don't know what I'm doing.
Or why I'm doing it.
Or how to do it.
I don't want to do this.

It's hard.

Very hard.

Every day is a challenge.

But it's just the first watch.

There will be another one in 8 hours time.  Then another one.  Then another.  And when you're on a 4, 5, or 7 day sail, there's many more 'anothers' to come.

So what does one do in the midst of that?
In the midst of a storm that you have no control over?
In the midst of a squall coming and blowing the sail so hard a line snaps?
In the midst of not being able to walk in a straight line for a week?
In the midst of constantly yelling at your stomach to feel better?
In the midst of the not knowing?

You don't give up.

You keep pushing through because there's another watch to come.  There are sails to raise and lower and adjust, there is a course to keep to.

If you give up on the first watch, you miss the dolphins jumping outside, you miss the sunrises and sunsets, you miss watching the stars and knowing their names, you miss the bonding that comes from hanging over the side of a ship with someone, you miss the laughs and conversations and 'Would You Rathers' with the others with you, you miss the adventure, you miss working hard and accomplishing a task, you miss the beauty of the moon and its light reflecting on the water.

You miss seeing God in the journey.

I don't want to miss that.

This is just the first watch and I'm not going to give up now.


 

14 October 2013

Glowing Dolphins

Current Location - Falmouth, England

Welp, after a long month and a half of difficult circumstances, we are now docked in Falmouth after a great 2 and a half day sail from Liverpool, sailing with 4 sails up the whole way.

A year and a half ago, God simply stated - "I want you to dream".  So the next day, I got up, went to Costa Coffee and wrote out a list of my "dreams", a list of things that I wanted to do or see.  (Read more about that HERE).  Over the last year and a half, I have been able to cross off a number of those dreams.

Yet another dream was just ticked off the list.

It was 11:45PM and I was preparing myself for my next 4 hour watch from midnight to 4:00AM.  I had my peppermint licorice tea in hand as I was leaning against the rail on the main deck of the ship just enjoying the fresh air when Kristin spots something jumping and swimming through the water on the starboard side.

They were dolphins.

They were glowing.

Now the day before, we had seen our fair share of dolphins in the water playing around.  As we were
going, we could just see a pod of them racing towards us just to play and show off.  It was an amazing sight to see and it didn't ever get old.  I loved standing on the foredeck just watching them.

So these glowing dolphins.  It was so dark all around and all you could see was the entire shape of a dolphin being lit up by what seemed like green lights and you could see the stream from where they were swimming as they jumped around, surfing in our wake.  It was one of the most amazing things I've seen.  And they kept coming back all throughout my watch in the middle of the night swimming with us.

I don't know all the scientific reasons as to how that happens, be it plankton or phosphorescence or something else.  I don't need to know.  I just know it was beautiful and it was a great way to start my watch...at midnight.

The first thing I thought of when I saw these glowing dolphins as we were sailing was that this exact thing was one of those dreams on my list and it is happening right now.  It was a dream I had forgotten and not thought was every going to come true.  Especially not when I was making that list in a coffee shop in Liverpool.

God knows and remembers our dreams.

Every little part of them.

Even ones about seeing glowing dolphins.

   

14 September 2013

Running At Sea Level

A picture to paint for you:

As I write this, I am sitting in the wheelhouse on Next Wave next to the radar and helm (I really want to go sailing...), after having gone on a great run through one of the best parks I've ever been to, with the sounds of weather reports and other communications periodically coming over the radio looking out at the misty night in Birkenhead, England (sadly not much to look at...) with Peppermint Licorice Tea (the best tea I've ever had...ever) by my side in my awesome Colorado mug and the sound of popcorn being popped down in the Galley.

What a long and great sentence.

2 things with basically the same meaning:

THE FIRST:

I am fully convinced that if I can successfully make a bed on Next Wave, I can make a bed anywhere.

Really.

You try making a bed with sometimes less than 2 feet of head space to work with.  And then do that on a top bunk.  It's quite the challenge.  One becomes a bit more flexible and able to fit into tight spaces while attempting to crawl into the bed to put on a fitted sheet and duvet and make it nice and neat as you crawl out.  It takes some skill.  Skill which I am well on my way to acquiring.

Any bed after this is going to be a piece of cake.

THE SECOND:

Most of my summer days consisted of hiking, running, and rollerblading, all at a reasonably high altitude, Denver's not called the Mile High city for nothing.  The air is a bit thinner there.  But after a few days of needing to stop and catch my breath before I got to the point of passing out while doing something active (like walking up stairs...) I finally got more used to it and I could rollerblade for a solid hour without sucking up all the air.

I've gone on a few runs since being back at sea level and I definitely noticed a significant difference in my breathing in that I could actually breathe while running.  But it really hit me tonight as I began my run.  It was the fastest I've been able to run from the start and I just kept going.  It felt good.

I realized that a bit part of that probably has to do with the fact that I rollerbladed at least 3 times a week for 3 months so that definitely strengthened my legs a bit and I've been more consistent in my exercise.  But aside from that, and the point that I'm trying to make, is that I could breathe.  I could run better than I could before.

Because I trained at high altitude.

Being back on Next Wave has had it's ups and downs with delays, schedule changes, coming into a new role with new responsibilities and a new DTS beginning and everything in between.  It's been busy.  But there's a difference this time.

I know I can do it.  Whatever task or responsibility that is put on me, I trust in my abilities to accomplish those tasks.  That's a good feeling.  The things that were a challenge for me in the beginning, I can go about with confidence now that I can do it and I understand things and see things a lot better.  That's not to say there won't be things I don't know how to do and won't present me with new challenges.  But again, this time is different, my mindset is completely different.

And it's because I trained at high altitude.  (I don't mean that literally anymore, of course.  This boat has been and always will be a sea level.  That's just a fact of life.)  I've learned to make a bed well in a tight space.  I went about those challenges with barely being able to breathe trying to keep up and do what I was supposed to do.  Whether that be with staffing a new DTS (just 3 weeks after staffing another long DTS), coming to a brand new place with brand new people, living in such tight quarters, leading worship, leading outreach in Paris, leading out in other things, sailing and all that encompasses that and so much more.  It was hard.  I was tired.  I didn't often have time to catch my breath.

I can breathe now.

At first, I was a little worried about having that confidence because I thought it meant that I felt like I didn't need God to help me anymore and that He wasn't around as much because I could do it on my own.

But that's not true.  I felt His presence more today that I have in a very long time.  I know that He is with me in everything and He has prepared me (most times the hard way) for what He wants me to do and who He wants me to be.

Maybe that's where that confidence came from in the first place.

Probably.

It's the things that challenge your breathing that prepare you most for what's coming on the horizon.

I'm gonna keep running.

 

I Can Flush!

I had an amazing moment the other day.

That moment was when I was told that I no longer had to let it mellow when it was yellow.

That's right.  I can now flush the toilet every time.

It's the little things in life...

03 September 2013

Thanks To An Irishman

I woke up to a beautiful, cool, sunny morning on the Oval in Harpenden.  One of my favorite places.  I packed up my things again and went for a walk down Cooters End Lane.  A good way to start the day.

As I made my way to London to get to the coach station, I was cutting it close on time and strength with 2 slightly heavy bags.  Then came the dreaded stairs on the Underground.  4 flights of them to be exact.  Not fun with a suitcase and guitar case.  But at each staircase, there was always someone there to help me carry it up the stairs.  Praise the Lord.

Then came the long walk from the railway station to the coach station in crowded downtown London.  But as I turned the corner, an Irishman asked if needed some help.

Yes please.

We walked and talked, getting to know each other a bit as he carried my guitar.  I made it to my bus just in time to hop on and off I went up to Liverpool.

He asked if I would say a prayer for him.
Will do Patrick.  Will do.

Back in England.
Back in Liverpool.
Back on Next Wave.

Here's to the next season.

Current Location - Liverpool, England

19 August 2013

Overwhelmed.

Lord, show me what to do with my time 
so I can be part of what You're doing 
at all times.
Amen*

Overwhelmed.
That's my word of the week.  Or month.

There's a lot happening within the next 10 days and that's the only word I can think of to describe it.

Overwhelmed.

A lot of things are changing again soon.  Yet another time of transition is here.  As with all change, there comes a lot of fear and uncertainty of the unknown.  Worries about if it's where I should be, if it's going to be good, if I can even do it, if it's going to get me to where I need to go.  I worry so much about how it can all happen.

In 1 Samuel 12:22 of The Message translation it says: God, simply because of who He is, is not going to walk off and leave His people.  God took delight in making You into His very people.

God delights in the process.  I say this all the time but I am continuously reminded of how true that statement is.  God delights in the process and will help us see when we need to see, know when we need to know, and hear when we need to hear.  It's all part of the process of God shaping us into who He wants us to be.

A while back, a good friend of mine gave a sermon about the how.  He used the example of Jesus feeding the five thousand with just a couple loaves of bread and a few fish.  The disciples had no idea how they could possibly feed all those people.  But Jesus did.  He took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, lifted His face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples, and the disciples in turn gave it to the people. (Mark 6:41).  As the sermon says, "When the disciples were free to trust that Jesus had the how taken care of, they could focus on what Jesus gave them to do in that moment."*

Since God has figured out the HOW we can focus on the NOW.*

When I think about what I'm doing and what I want to do in the future with my life, there's a lot of moments when I think - how is this ever going to happen?  I get consumed by worrying about the logistics of things and how and if they will all play out.  It is in this worry that I'm learning more to trust God. To come to Him in the times when I'm overwhelmed and simply say - Lord show me what to do with my time so I can be part of what You're doing at all times.

Romans 4 is all about that:
 ~ Verse 3 - What we read in scripture is, Abraham entered into what God was doing for him and that was the turning point.  He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.
~ Verse 16 - This is why the fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and His way and then simply embracing Him and what He does.  God's promise arrives as pure gift.
~ Verse 17 - God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody.
~ Verse 18 - When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said He would do.

I want to be a part of what God is doing.  
Because what God does is good.  
I know that full well.  
And not just in my life but in the lives of those around me.  

I don't have to know how it's all going to happen.  I don't need to be overwhelmed by everything.  I just have to trust God with each moment of each day, trusting that He is guiding, leading, shaping,  preparing, and getting me to something greater.  Something beyond me.  Something I can't possibly think of.

What if the point of where God has you is to do something that is beyond you?*

There was a day this last week when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed and I felt like I had so much going through my head that I wouldn't be able to focus on just one thing that I needed to do.  So I prayed the prayer - Lord show me what to do with my time so I can be part of what You're doing at all times.  
I went for a run.  I ran and spent some time underneath the shade of the trees.  It was just what I needed and I was able to clear my head and refocus on what I needed to - God.  To trust God with each moment of the day leads to trusting Him with each day, each week, each month...my life.

Then things don't seem so overwhelming.

*Sermon given by Nathan Harrison


27 July 2013

In Pieces Pt. 2

I've said it before (you can read about it here) and I'll say it again.

God speaks to me in pieces.

I feel like I'll say that for the rest of my life.

I've been home for a break here in Littleton, Colorado for 3 months now after being away for the better part of 4 and a half years.  I've done a lot during these years.  I can't count the miles I've traveled, the people I've met, the things I've done.  All of which I could never have imagined.  

A lot of reflection comes when one is in this particular situation.  Especially when that particular situation is located in Colorado.

What this reflection has brought me is the realization of all the pieces that played a part in making me who I am today: the pieces of where I've been, who I've met, who has invested in me, what I've done; and these pieces are fitting together to show me that where I have been is vital to where I'm going.

Being home, seeing where this journey with God first began, has shown me even more that each place I go prepares me for the next.  Each piece is just as important as the next.  The pieces of first going to my church during my quiet, shy, awkward stage, being invested in, being given the opportunity to serve, to lead, to welcome people, to teach, to invest in others, going on my first missions trips.  The pieces of moving, leaving my life behind to begin somewhere else, discovering my ridiculous love of organization, working at camps.  The pieces of leaving the country to do a DTS in England where I knew no one, going on outreach to new countries.  The pieces of being a leader again, of vacationing to a ship docked in Liverpool, of moving to said ship and learning to sail.  This is by no means an exhaustive list.

I love the pieces of my life and see God's incredible faithfulness in how He has directed me all these years.  Not only does he speak to me in pieces but He also directs in pieces.

These pieces have also brought me to finally discover an answer to an all too often unanswered question:
What do you want to do with your life?

Before I answer that, I'll start with a word - DREAM.  When I first went to the Next Wave, I was posed with a challenge - I want you to dream.  (Read more about that here).  And just before coming back home, I was reminded to keep dreaming.

When I first began dreaming, I wrote that an idea sparks in my brain which grows, becoming something ATTAINABLE.  That "it is something which awakens the desire to transform this seemingly unattainable possibility into a tangible reality."  I believe I'm in this place again.

So what do I want to do?  I want to pursue hospitality and my dream, my awakened desire, is to run a Bed and Breakfast.  The idea has been slowly developing and one night, while camping in Rocky Mountain National Park, watching heat lightning for an hour, the dream came and has continued to grow with excitement and motivation.

With that awakened desire in mind, I'm heading off again to adventure with the Next Wave, pursuing hospitality, worship and staff development which will prepare me in incredible ways for what I want to do in the future.  I know without a doubt that this is where God wants me to go right now.  I don't know exactly what it's going to look like but I'm excited for this possibility.

So thank you to every one of you who has been an important piece in my ever growing puzzle of my life.  It has not gone unnoticed.

On to the next season.