Attainable.

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

So many possibilities, so much potential.  Where does it even begin?

It begins with an idea.

Now I'm no scientist and I don't know how the brain works.  But somewhere in this constant flow of neurons and other electric currents which send signals to my legs to make them walk, my arms to make them embrace, my heart to make it beat, the smallest of charges makes its way to a certain part of my brain which sparks an idea.  Here it begins to grow and take shape into something.

SOMETHING.

Something new, something different, something uniquely designed, something original. 

Something attainable.

It is this something which awakens the desire to transform this seemingly unattainable possibility into a tangible reality.

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

I've never been a big dreamer.  Sure, I've had an imagination where I would conjure up stories and songs and scenarios of something outside myself.  But somewhere, my imagination became just that - imaginary.  Not real, not possible, non-existent.  So why begin to dream?  Why put myself through the joy and excitement of these dreams only to be disappointed by the realization that it would never happen?

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

But finally, once again, this long, lost neuron charges its way from the cells in my brain to the depths of my heart then back to that one place which sparks this idea, this imagination, this dream, this desire.  The possibilities of what could be, go rushing through my head.

This time.  This time it's different.

This time.  This time there is hope in these possibilities.

A hope which tells me that this awakened desire of what could be, can be and will be.

    

It Starts Soon!

Words For Today Pt. 5

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith.  But common sense is not faith and faith is not common sense.

Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your common sense life continue to shout, 'it's all a lie?'

Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it.

Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict.

The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. 'We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence to the end.' (Hebrews 3:14).  Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith.

~ Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the TESTING OF YOUR FAITH develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

~ James 1:2-4

3 Countries - 1 Week

Here's the scenario...

DTS has graduated.
Trainees have gone home.
Staff debrief has finished.
A lot of staff have gone home.
There's a couple weeks before life gets crazy again.
Need to get off the Oval for a bit.
What to do?

How's about go to Wales, the southeast coast of England and France?
All 3 in one week?
OK.

I had the amazing opportunity to go with a friend to her family's cottage in the north of Wales for a few days to get off the Oval for a bit and just relax and spend some quality time together.

We decided to go for a walk through lots of fields.  It was a bit muddy.

Sticking to the footpath

We decided to climb this mountain.  We could not have picked a more perfect day to do it.

From the top

Lunge

Another walk along the hills

We make good treats.

Then I got to go with another friend to the southeast coast of England to spend a couple days there by the sea.
We decided it would be fun to go see the famous White Cliffs of Dover since it was so close.
So we did.

Then we decided to hop on a ferry and go to France for a couple hours to walk around and eat crepes and baguettes. 

As you do.

From the water we had such a great view of the cliffs.

So from the top of a mountain in North Wales to the sea at the south of England and across over to France - I would say that's a pretty good week.

   

Change

You know those moments when you realize that everything is about to change?

This is one of those moments.

It's so crazy to be in the in between stage of the life that I have been living for the last 9 months and the life that is about to happen.

So much has happened over these last 9 months that I've been here on the Oval at YWAM Harpenden: eating countless frozen grapes, walks to Sainsburys and through Rothamsted Park, roommate bonding time, going to the pub, frisbee games, meals in BBHall, quality time spent in the lounge, worship times, walks in the woods, runs down the Nickey Line, playing in the snow, getting to know so many people from so many different places, community meetings, lots of other meetings, throwing paint, going on outreach, teachings about God, evangelism, learning more about who I am and what I'm gifted in, setting up and taking down lots of tents and big marquees...the list goes on.

It's finally hitting me that it's almost over.  In just over a week, the IMPACT UK DTS will come to an end and I'll have to say the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say.  It's a bit emotional going through something like this.  When you are going through it, time seems to go pretty slow, but when you come to the end of things, you realize how quickly it all passed.  I have had some incredible experiences and challenges throughout this whole time that has led to a lot of growth in my life.  I was asked this question earlier this week that really got me thinking - what have I learned?  Well, I've learned a lot of things.  I've learned more about how to pray, to hear God's voice even more, to worship, to lead, to love, to be loved, to sing, to obey, to be.  I know those are pretty general things but they encompass quite a lot.  I know that this experience is something I will continue to learn from a long time from now.

So what's this next thing that's happening?  Well, I'm going on another crazy adventure.  

I'm going to be staffing another DTS this September - on a ship called The Next Wave.  Yes.

I know that this is really where God wants me to be and what He wants me to be doing.  When I was there visiting this past April (see previous post here) I loved it.  It was when I was on the ship one night as I was going to sleep that I felt that God said 2 big things to me - "I want you to dream".  Then He asked me the simple question - "Why not staff the September school?"  When posed with this question, I assumed it would be for the school in Harpenden.  However, a little over a week later, I was asked to pray about and consider staffing the DTS on the Next Wave in September.  So I prayed about it, and really did feel that it was what God wanted me to do.  So I said yes.  And here I am, just over a month away from packing up my life here in Harpenden and moving it to a ship.  Who does this?

When deciding to do this, I wanted to be sure that I was going for the right reasons.  I didn't want to go just to go because it would be fun and a cool experience but I want to go with a purpose, I want to be able to bring something with me.  So I did the simple thing and asked God what I could bring.  So this is what I want to bring - I want to be a part of helping people see more of who they are and the possibilities that are open to them.  I want to help them step into that by creating and encouraging this place for them to do that.  I feel that that is a journey that I've been on and am still on of being who God has created me to me.  I think it's so important to have people alongside you doing just that - challenging and encouraging you to see passed the right now and to see these possibilities of who God created us to be and hope for that.  I feel like this is also something that I will myself be challenged by and I'm really excited about it.

I also feel that another thing that I can bring to this is worship.  One Sunday morning this past summer I was leading worship at a church and I felt something shift in my voice.  Something in it changed.  It's hard to explain but as I was singing, I realized that something was different, something was working better than it ever had.  That was definitely God.  There was a moment during one of the worship times here that I had a quick passing thought that maybe I could bring worship to the boat and later I had a bit of a revelation about it (as you can read here).  I realized that not only can I bring worship through the music itself, but also just in the way I live my life.

It's scary and it's a huge change and a huge risk but I know that it is going to be such an incredible time.   I have had such amazing experiences and I know that I have learned and grown in so many ways and have developed such incredible relationships with incredible people.  It's going to be sad to finish this but I'm excited for what's to come.

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philipians 1:6

   

Our Melodies

You know those songs that when you hear it, it evokes a certain emotion that the moment you hear it, you are reminded of that certain something?  Like with so many songs that are tied to certain people, places, experiences, memories, emotions, struggles, victories...you can't help but be taken back to that emotion.  I have several at the moment.  One being "Take Heart":

From the very first seconds of the melody of this song, I am completely overwhelmed by such a loving and calming and at rest feeling.  It's hard to describe.  It's not just because of the words of the songs - yes they are really great and mean so much, but there are also memories tied with this song that add to that emotion.  

So these songs, these melodies, they mean something to us and make us feel something special.

What if it's the same with God?

What if our song evoked that same emotion, that same feeling in God?

What if our song gave God that same experience?

What if that was what our worship to God was?

The song, the melody we bring to God, the lives we live, the way we laugh, the way we run, the way we enjoy life, the way be play, the way we sing, even the way we struggle; each has that place in God's heart and reminds Him of something in us that He created.

I can live my life knowing that I am loved.  Everyday I can say that, even on my darkest, ugliest days - I am loved and have done nothing to earn or deserve it. When Jesus was baptized, God said, "This is my son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased."  God said this before Jesus even began any of His ministry, before He did anything.  He just was.  

So how does this relate to worship?  I can worship, sing, dance, live...knowing that God delights in my singing, He delights in me.  There is a really great message from Jonathan David Helser called 'Worship Echos" which he begins by saying "Worship is giving back to God what He first gave to us." He gave you a voice, He gave you movement, he gave you a song to sing and He delights in you when you give that back to Him.  He delights when you sing Him your song.  Our worship can come from a place of wanting to bring delight to the Father.  It starts with knowing - I know that my song delights the Lord.  I have done nothing to earn or deserve it and I don't need to strive to perform in order to make God happy.  I just need to be and He delights in that and it is out of being that I can do.

What you have revelation of, you are responsible for.  

   

Free Prayer

Fun fact: The 2012 Olympics were in London this year.  And that's where I was! So crazy. For a week, I was in London with half of the DTS working with a church in East London which was just a 30 minute walk away from the Olympic Stadium in Stratford.  It's pretty crazy to go from watching the opening ceremonies (LIVE I might add) one night to walking right next to it the next.  (Seeing the US Olympic athletics team was pretty sweet too.)  But it was so great to be working with this church as they were running a cafe which had the Olympics up on a big screen open to the community.  So we went out inviting people and just simply talking to people.  We also had the chance to go into Stratford a few times to talk to and pray for people.  That was quite the experience as there were a lot of other religions and beliefs right on the doorstep as well.

I'll share just one quick story from that experience - When we first got there to Stratford, I felt that God wanted me to hold up a sign that said 'Free Prayer'.  So I held it up, which took a lot of courage in me, I was definitely nervous about it.  After 2 difficult rejections, I held it up for the 3rd time and almost immediately a man walked over who was actually passing out flyers for Islam.  He then went on to telling us exactly what the Gospel message was to us.  He told us that he knows the Gospel, he knows God, he studied to be a pastor, but everything was taken away from him.  (This is the very short version, we were talking to him for over an hour).  Just 2 days before we talked to him, he turned his back on God.  So we got to pray for him and encourage him that God still loves him and wants him back.  Again, there's a lot more to it but it was just in simple obedience that God was able to use us to help lead this man back to God.

Working with the cafe was so great as well.  It was so cool to see it grow throughout the week from just a couple people to having so many kids and parents and others coming and enjoying being there.  It would not have been the success that it was without us being there to help bring people in.  The church is hoping to open up a permanent cafe at the church and these weeks opened up the door for them to do that.  There are so many stories of how we were able to love and be a blessing to the people in the community.

It was such an incredible week and I was sad to leave.  The people at this church were amazing and they had such a heart for community and family which is something that I really love and was so encouraging to see.  It was so great and I felt that my heart was in the right place to be doing what we were doing.  I was striving to perform for perfection but I had that desire to simply see and know this love that changes hearts and I saw it.  

   

Summer.

I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

Matthew 25:40

I realize that it has been quite the long time since I have updated this with anything of real substance and for that I apologize.  A lot has happened over these last few months and there is still more to come. I'll give just a brief recap of what my life has been like recently...

~ I co-led a team to Newcastle and Manchester for 8 weeks where we were able to be involved in all sorts of different things from renovating a house, volunteering at an international students cafe, being involved in many sports/football ministries, creative evangelism, gardening, leading church services, passing out water bottles at 1AM, and so much more.  It really was such an incredible time.  As it turns out, leading an outreach team is hard work but I had such a great team around me and I know that God has really done so much not just in my own life but the lives of all those on my team and the people we were able to work with and meet.  There may not have been a whole lot of getting to see all the fruits of our labor but it's just about knowing and trusting in what God brought us there to do and that what we did really made a difference.

~ We came back to the base for a week of debrief as well as preparing for the first of several big events here on the base called Circuit Riders.  This was an intense 2 weeks of teaching and evangelism with 200 people from all over.  There was so much passion and excitement in all the people that came for the simple purpose of telling people about Jesus.  This was a very interesting 2 weeks for me as it was definitely not something that I was used to and really challenged me in what I really believe in and why.  It has begun to change the way I think and what my motives really are in what I'm doing.  It really has taught me to think of my relationship with God in a new way.  Things have been so busy and my head has been going a million miles an hour it seems so that relationship fell a bit.  During this, I really was able to see more of who God is and what this relationship with Him could look like.  Because that's what it's all about, it's about relationship with God and living out of that.  I'm still learning.

~ ALL HANDS ON DECK.  These days consisted of the entire base community coming together setting up a whole lot of tents in the back field, putting up giant blow up marquees (what an adventure), cleaning toilets and showers, wearing bright green vests directing people where to park and so much more work around the base to accommodate a crazy number of people over the summer.

The next week long event to be hosted here was called Go 4 Glory which focused on using arts and sports in evangelism.  So that meant a lot of creativity - dance, art, sport - on the oval as well as 200 people.  The DAY they all left, another group of over 400 people descended on the oval for the first of the Olympic outreaches.  This meant cleaning, and more cleaning and more setting up of lots of chairs and registration and all that.  These are all people who are going to be going into London for the time of the Olympics to do outreach with churches in London and other events.  The people here on the base have been working so hard to make all of this happen and they have done it with incredible joy.  It's been amazing to see it all happen.  And this is just the beginning.

Which brings me to now.  Tomorrow - Friday, June 27 - The Opening Ceremonies for the 2012 Olympic Games is happening.  Oh, and I'll be in London for that.  I am going with a team into East London, just 30 minutes away from the Olympic Village, to work with a church which is doing some amazing things in the area.  We had a prayer time about it and we felt that God really wants us to just bring so much life to this place.  I'm so excited to go and I'm so excited to see what God does.

One of the biggest things that God has been speaking to me about in these last couple weeks has been simply about His love.  I have such a greater desire to really know that love; to know that love that changes hearts.  It is out of knowing this love that I can do what He asks me to do and it is out of this love that people can change and have the love and joy and life that God wants all of us to know.  I realized on the first 8 weeks of outreach that I am capable of absolutely nothing on my own.  But it is knowing this and trusting in God's strength that makes me capable.  It is about ceasing striving and just being knowing that I am loved and that God delights in me.  Simplicity.

So that's what's been going on!  I know that's only a small glimpse of things but I hope it suffices for you.


* Pictures were not my own.

Bear Grylls and the Olympic Torch

Yep.  I was part of that crowd cheering.

Wellies in Wales

Welp.  Outreach is well underway.

1 May - We were all packed up and 35 of us piled onto a double-decker MegaBus in London to make our way up to Cardiff, the capital city of Wales.  After a few hours of enjoying the UNUSUAL UK sunshine, we walked with our luggage on our backs to one of the churches were would be staying at to meet the people we would be working with as well as having a time of worship and expectation for the days to come.  At this point, we were still a bit unsure as to what exactly our role would be in this big event know as Ignite Hope 2012 but we soon found out and the excitement grew.

In a nutshell - This long weekend event was a gathering of youth groups from different areas of south Wales to come together to learn more about Jesus (some for the first time) and spread His hope and love to different communities.

First order of business for our group, as well as another group from Colorado (can we say collision of 2 worlds?) to help set up meeting tents as well as the biggest tent I have ever set up.  Though come to think of it, I've never actually set up a tent before...but it was big.  So our first 2 days consisted of unloading trucks, walking through mud (wellies are the best investment I've made to date...ok that might be an exaggeration but they were well appreciated), shoveling wheel barrowing wood chips, tea breaks, setting up tents, blow up castles and trampolines.

The rest of the weekend, we were able to take part in the amazing worship and teachings as well as working around the site running the bounce castles and such for the community.  Each morning the youth groups would come to the tent for worship then go out to bless the communities.  While they were out we stayed at the site for open family fun days for anyone around to come.  Every evening started with playing outside, then worship and a message by some amazing guest speakers and time for anyone to give their lives to Jesus.  After which, it was back outside for more fun and games and mud.  It was definitely long hours and extremely muddy conditions but again, wellies solved that one real quick.

This also helped with the long hours...

After the event came the tear down of everything, in the rain, and mud and more mud.

I really loved this week and it was so great to start outreach with all of us as a whole DTS serving together.  I loved getting to see everyone in such a different environment outside the comforts of the Oval and live out what lectures have taught us.  Although it did make splitting up a little bitter sweet.

The Newcastle and Manchester team

But now we are all in our 3 respective teams and I am currently here in Greater Manchester working with different churches in the surrounding area of Manchester serving where we can.  More on that as time goes on.  But things are shaping up and there are a lot of opportunities for us to be plugged into which is awesome.

It has definitely been a challenge being on the other side of outreach as a leader.  It turns out, there's a lot more responsibility when one is on staff.  But I really do love it.  I am learning so much and I'm excited to continue to desperately seek God in everything I do because if that doesn't happen, well then outreach doesn't happen.

So please keep us in your prayers as we go out.

ALSO!! If you want to keep track of what we get up to and stories of what God is doing, check out our outreach team's blog.  We will try to update it regularly. - http://manchesternewcastle.blogspot.co.uk/