You know those moments when you realize that everything is about to change?
This is one of those moments.
It's so crazy to be in the in between stage of the life that I have been living for the last 9 months and the life that is about to happen.
So much has happened over these last 9 months that I've been here on the Oval at YWAM Harpenden: eating countless frozen grapes, walks to Sainsburys and through Rothamsted Park, roommate bonding time, going to the pub, frisbee games, meals in BBHall, quality time spent in the lounge, worship times, walks in the woods, runs down the Nickey Line, playing in the snow, getting to know so many people from so many different places, community meetings, lots of other meetings, throwing paint, going on outreach, teachings about God, evangelism, learning more about who I am and what I'm gifted in, setting up and taking down lots of tents and big marquees...the list goes on.
It's finally hitting me that it's almost over. In just over a week, the IMPACT UK DTS will come to an end and I'll have to say the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say. It's a bit emotional going through something like this. When you are going through it, time seems to go pretty slow, but when you come to the end of things, you realize how quickly it all passed. I have had some incredible experiences and challenges throughout this whole time that has led to a lot of growth in my life. I was asked this question earlier this week that really got me thinking - what have I learned? Well, I've learned a lot of things. I've learned more about how to pray, to hear God's voice even more, to worship, to lead, to love, to be loved, to sing, to obey, to be. I know those are pretty general things but they encompass quite a lot. I know that this experience is something I will continue to learn from a long time from now.
It's finally hitting me that it's almost over. In just over a week, the IMPACT UK DTS will come to an end and I'll have to say the hardest goodbyes I've ever had to say. It's a bit emotional going through something like this. When you are going through it, time seems to go pretty slow, but when you come to the end of things, you realize how quickly it all passed. I have had some incredible experiences and challenges throughout this whole time that has led to a lot of growth in my life. I was asked this question earlier this week that really got me thinking - what have I learned? Well, I've learned a lot of things. I've learned more about how to pray, to hear God's voice even more, to worship, to lead, to love, to be loved, to sing, to obey, to be. I know those are pretty general things but they encompass quite a lot. I know that this experience is something I will continue to learn from a long time from now.
So what's this next thing that's happening? Well, I'm going on another crazy adventure.
I know that this is really where God wants me to be and what He wants me to be doing. When I was there visiting this past April (see previous post here) I loved it. It was when I was on the ship one night as I was going to sleep that I felt that God said 2 big things to me - "I want you to dream". Then He asked me the simple question - "Why not staff the September school?" When posed with this question, I assumed it would be for the school in Harpenden. However, a little over a week later, I was asked to pray about and consider staffing the DTS on the Next Wave in September. So I prayed about it, and really did feel that it was what God wanted me to do. So I said yes. And here I am, just over a month away from packing up my life here in Harpenden and moving it to a ship. Who does this?
When deciding to do this, I wanted to be sure that I was going for the right reasons. I didn't want to go just to go because it would be fun and a cool experience but I want to go with a purpose, I want to be able to bring something with me. So I did the simple thing and asked God what I could bring. So this is what I want to bring - I want to be a part of helping people see more of who they are and the possibilities that are open to them. I want to help them step into that by creating and encouraging this place for them to do that. I feel that that is a journey that I've been on and am still on of being who God has created me to me. I think it's so important to have people alongside you doing just that - challenging and encouraging you to see passed the right now and to see these possibilities of who God created us to be and hope for that. I feel like this is also something that I will myself be challenged by and I'm really excited about it.
I also feel that another thing that I can bring to this is worship. One Sunday morning this past summer I was leading worship at a church and I felt something shift in my voice. Something in it changed. It's hard to explain but as I was singing, I realized that something was different, something was working better than it ever had. That was definitely God. There was a moment during one of the worship times here that I had a quick passing thought that maybe I could bring worship to the boat and later I had a bit of a revelation about it (as you can read here). I realized that not only can I bring worship through the music itself, but also just in the way I live my life.
When deciding to do this, I wanted to be sure that I was going for the right reasons. I didn't want to go just to go because it would be fun and a cool experience but I want to go with a purpose, I want to be able to bring something with me. So I did the simple thing and asked God what I could bring. So this is what I want to bring - I want to be a part of helping people see more of who they are and the possibilities that are open to them. I want to help them step into that by creating and encouraging this place for them to do that. I feel that that is a journey that I've been on and am still on of being who God has created me to me. I think it's so important to have people alongside you doing just that - challenging and encouraging you to see passed the right now and to see these possibilities of who God created us to be and hope for that. I feel like this is also something that I will myself be challenged by and I'm really excited about it.
I also feel that another thing that I can bring to this is worship. One Sunday morning this past summer I was leading worship at a church and I felt something shift in my voice. Something in it changed. It's hard to explain but as I was singing, I realized that something was different, something was working better than it ever had. That was definitely God. There was a moment during one of the worship times here that I had a quick passing thought that maybe I could bring worship to the boat and later I had a bit of a revelation about it (as you can read here). I realized that not only can I bring worship through the music itself, but also just in the way I live my life.
It's scary and it's a huge change and a huge risk but I know that it is going to be such an incredible time. I have had such amazing experiences and I know that I have learned and grown in so many ways and have developed such incredible relationships with incredible people. It's going to be sad to finish this but I'm excited for what's to come.
Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philipians 1:6
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