One Week.

ONE WEEK.

JUST ONE

THAT'S REAL SOON.

Promo

Thoughts On Leaving Pt. 2

We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ.  It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own.  Our qualification comes from God.

~2 Corinthians 3:4-5

Today was a good day.

Around 12:05 this afternoon (exactly - I checked my clock), after having a delicious bowl of oatmeal, I left my house to head to the YWAM base in San Francisco, as has been my routine each Monday for the past month.  (More on that in a bit).  On my drive to the city I started thinking about the fact that I am going to be DTS Staff at YWAM Harpenden for the January 2012 IMPACT UK DTS.  (I think about that a lot.)  That's a big title, in my opinion, and at times, a bit frightening.  I feel that with a title like that, so much expectation is thrown onto me and I automatically have to be this amazing person with a huge vision of what I want to see happen in this world.  The truth is, right now, I'm not.

But that's ok.

I'm broken, I'm a mess, I'm not perfect, I stumble, I'm weak, I fail, I don't have all the answers, I have so many fears, so many doubts, so many insecurities...

I seem to constantly question what in the world I'm doing going back as staff with YWAM.  I question what my role will be, how I will fit into the staff already there, what part I will play in the lives of the people I will meet and so on.  To sum up - I feel I am no where near qualified to be in the position I'm going into.  But those things shouldn't matter.  What matters is the purpose of it all.  'To know God and make Him known'.  To show people that they don't have to be perfect in order to be loved by this incredible God.  They already are.

Here is the amazing thing: God sees passed all my weaknesses to the person that I really am, the person He has created me to be.  And He wants to use me, all of me, even the weak parts, to reach out to those in need.  And I know that He has brought me to this particular place for a reason and I can't wait to see what that will be.

"Jacob was a cheater, Peter had a temper, David had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul was a murderer, Gideon was insecure, Miriam was a gossip, Martha was a worrier, Thomas was a doubter, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Abraham was old...and Lazarus was dead.

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." 

~Outlive Your Life - Max Lucado

On this drive to the city, I feel God showed me a little something of what my place could potentially be - I have a heart for really being there for people and supporting them in any way that I can and making sure they are ok.  That may seem small but for me, that's huge.  I know how much of an impact those people, those that were really there for me and invested so much of their lives into me, made on my life.  So I know the difference that can make.  And I feel that I am able in some way to help make that difference.  I'm not a big ideas person right now.  But I will give everything I am to be consistent in being there and supporting and serving in any way that I possibly can; whether it's the students or other staff or all the people we are going to meet on outreach.  It's through God's love and strength, and only that, which allows me to do this and gives me the desire to do this with my whole heart.  It's what I know how to do so I'm going to do it. 

God created me this way.  

It's not about me this time, it's about them and it's about God.  I see that a bit better this time. 

So going back to San Francisco today - For the last 4 Monday's, I've been giving manicures to women off the streets in The Tenderloin.  That's a sentence I never thought I would utter.  This is definitely one of those things that I am, under no circumstance whatsoever, qualified to be doing.  (I could hardly do my own nails let alone be responsible for making someone else's look nice).  But I'm doing it.  And it's not just about the nails, it's about the person who sits in front of me each time.  They each have a story.  And I have the chance to be a part of that story just by being there and talking to them and praying for them, and doing something small and simple to show that there is a God who loves them and sees them as beautiful.

So I say again:

We are confident of all this because of our great trust in God through Christ.  It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own.  Our qualification comes from God.

~2 Corinthians 3:4-5

          

     

Thoughts On Leaving Pt. 1

I had a conversation with a friend of mine this evening. I answered the phone and she immediately started out by telling me that I somehow neglected to tell her that I was going to be leaving for potentially 2 years. 

Oops.

Then it hits me - I'm leaving. For a long time. A very long time. 

I've been slowly coming to the realization of what my current situation is. Every day it gets closer, my heart starts to race a bit more. I begin to have almost every emotion in the book - I'm excited, I'm terrified, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I'm ecstatic...and so on. 

My life has taken an incredibly unexpected and unimaginable turn this past year, well I guess the last 3 years.  At the beginning of my DTS, one of my staff members said to me that moving to California was in God's good plan for my life. At first I had a hard time believing that for reasons which require far too much explanation to go into here. But now, I absolutely believe that with all my heart and I thank God that this was in His good plans. 

With this new life creeping up on me faster each day, I have been able to see how incredibly blessed I am. I have realized how many amazing people I have been able to meet since moving to California, people I couldn't imagine my life without now. I've made such great friends here and grown closer to family.  In addition to that, I have seen the amazing relationships that have continued even through all these miles between me and those in Colorado.  I thank God everyday for those that have stuck with me. 

God is good. 

   

In Hand

Visa approved and in hand.

One way plane ticket purchased.

22 more days in America for who knows how long.

SERIOUSLY?!

  

Then Sings My Soul

O Lord my God

When I in awesome wonder

Consider all

The works thy hands hath made

What joy shall fill my heart

THEN SINGS MY SOUL

MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE

HOW GREAT YOU ARE

HOW GREAT YOU ARE

   

Welcome!

Well hello there!  Welcome to my new and potentially improved blog.  I figured I'm getting ready to begin a crazy new adventure so why not start a new blog?  Ok.  Here we go.

In case you haven't heard, though I hope you have, if all goes according to plan with my visa and such, I will be heading back to YWAM Harpenden in England the first week of December.  Soon?  Yes.  Very, very soon.  I have committed to being on staff there for 2 years.  Crazy, I know.  For the first 8 months I will be on staff for the IMPACT UK January 2012 DTS.  If you want more information click on the FYI tab and it will give you a list of websites that will give you more information on what YWAM is, what a DTS is, what this upcoming DTS is and all that other great information. 

Prayer Request - That my visa would be approved and returned to me as quickly as possible so I can make it to England in time for staff training.

So take a look around and if you have any questions, comments or would like to support me please, please, please feel free to contact me at any time. 

Lots of love.

Anxiousness

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

~NLT

Don't fret or worry.  Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. 

 ~The Message

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  

~NIV

...Just keep telling yourself this...

GO

"Whatever is good and perfect comes to us from God our Father." 

James 1:17 (NLT)

Let me tell you 2 stories.  Well, essentially, they are the same story.

Story #1

A long time ago, the Israelites were being led out of Egypt by Moses.  They were in the wilderness between Elim and Mount Sinai and they were hungry.

"Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Look, I'm going to rain down food from heaven for you.  Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day.  I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.'"

To make a longish story shortish, when they first saw the food that God had sent them, they had no idea what it was or what to do with it.  They had to be told that this was the food that God was providing for them.  So some did as they were told and went out and gathered up just as much as they needed and 'when they measured it out, everyone had just enough.  Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over and those who gathered only a little had enough.'  Whatever wasn't gathered up that day disappeared from the ground.  Morning by morning, the people were able to gather up the food that God provided and have just what they needed.

Exodus 16

Story #2

Not so long ago, there were these two guys, Mike and Sam, who decided they wanted to live the life of a homeless person for 5 months.  (There's a lot more to this story but that's pretty much all you need to know for this story to make sense).

Mike and Sam were in San Francisco and they were hungry.

A man walked by them with a box of leftover pizza and Mike shouted out and asked him if he was going to finish it.  The man looked at the box then back at Mike and Sam and said, "No" and he gave them the box.  Mike and Sam had the pleasure of finishing off half a pepperoni pizza.  And it was just what they needed.

Under the Overpass - Mike Yankoski

It's easy to see how these two stories are similar - some people were hungry so God gave them some food.  But the author of Under the Overpass, Mike, takes it one step further:

After they had finished eating the leftover pizza, Mike said to Sam,

"What do you think would have happened if the Israelites hadn't gone out and picked up the manna God sent?  I mean, don't you think they would have starved if they never actually went out and picked the manna off the ground?"

When I read this, I had to reread it a few times for it to sink in a bit.  After some sinking in time, I began to see it more and more in my own life.  When I got home from England, an opportunity literally fell into my hands.  What an opportunity that was.  When it was over, I didn't know what to do next.  I'll be honest, for a while, I was just waiting for someone else to offer me something.  Well, it doesn't always work like that.  Sometimes it does.  But sometimes, well more often than not, opportunities present themselves in ways that I may not recognize.  Just like the Israelites, at first glance, I may not recognize what or how God is providing, how He is working.  But that's just it, He is still providing, still working.  I just need to go pick it up.

"God answered our prayers for provision, but we still had to ask these guys for it.  We still had to 'pick up the manna.'"

Here is the point of me telling you these 2 stories - the message is the same now as it was then.  God continues to provide exactly what we need when we need it.  We just have to go out and get it.

These two stories have been such a challenge and such an encouragement for me recently.  It's given me a new perspective on things.  It helps me to have that attitude of going out and picking up whatever God throws down - church, jobs, volunteer work, the next steps.  Sometimes it's good, other times it may not be so good and that's ok.  The point is simply to go out knowing and trusting that God knows what He is doing.  He knows what I'm thinking and feeling, He knows my worries and doubts and He sees when I go out.  "You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head." Psalm 139:5 (NLT)  Everyday, EVERY day, God is providing, God is showing His love and it is there for the taking.

"I wonder how much we miss because we're unwilling to pick it up."

God is providing.

Don't miss it.

Go pick it up.

Go.

   

Truth

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

But how can they call on Him to save them

unless they believe in Him?

And how can they believe in Him

if they have never heard about Him?

And how can they hear about Him

unless someone tells them?

And how will anyone go and tell

without being sent?

That is why the Scriptures say,

'How beautiful are the feet of messengers

who bring good news!'

~Romans 10:13-15 (NLT)