The Process

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

How on earth do I even begin to describe this last week without writing a novel?  There are just so many things that have happened this last week that it is so hard to narrow it all down to something that would be somewhat comprehensive to anyone else.

As you can see in my previous post, I live in a pretty sweet place.  It's real pretty.  And it's cold - I love it.  If you still don't know, I'm doing the Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Harpenden, England.  There are about 20 other people that are a part of this DTS as well.  All from so many different places.  We pretty much have the whole world covered.  This last week has pretty much just been an introduction to all things DTS and YWAM and to some of the things we will be doing and learning about in the next 3 months during lecture phase. 

 New? Yes.  Different? Yes.  Exciting? Yes.  Overwhelming?  Most definitely yes.  

There have been a number of times this week when I find I ask myself, what in the world have I gotten myself into?  Can I really do this?  Am I ready?   

A couple weeks before I came here, I locked my keys in my car.  Great.  So I was there holding the flashlight standing in the frigid air as I watched my dad and uncle attempt to break into my car.  The whole time, all I kept thinking was that I just wanted to skip to the part when my door was opened.  I wanted to skip past all the waiting, all the hard work of finding a way into the car.  I feel that same way with a lot of things, especially right now.  A lot of times I just want to skip past all the hard things and get to the part when things are ok, when things are good, really good.  I don't always want to go through the difficult process of it all.  As much as I struggle to believe this most of the time, what is the point of skipping through the things that will test and grow you and strengthen you the most?  That's the beauty of the process, as ugly as it may seem, right?  I feel like there is a lot in my head and in my heart that is in need of going through this process, no matter how terrified I am about it.

I realize that I'm being incredibly vague at the moment but things are still pretty vague in my own mind at this point.  There was a lot from this week that is floating around in my mind and so it's just going in 20 different directions right now.  But I'm sure of this - In my heart and in my mind I know that there is a change that desperately needs to be made.  I'm just not sure what exactly it is or how it's going to happen.  But I know it's coming.