Running At Sea Level

A picture to paint for you:

As I write this, I am sitting in the wheelhouse on Next Wave next to the radar and helm (I really want to go sailing...), after having gone on a great run through one of the best parks I've ever been to, with the sounds of weather reports and other communications periodically coming over the radio looking out at the misty night in Birkenhead, England (sadly not much to look at...) with Peppermint Licorice Tea (the best tea I've ever had...ever) by my side in my awesome Colorado mug and the sound of popcorn being popped down in the Galley.

What a long and great sentence.

2 things with basically the same meaning:

THE FIRST:

I am fully convinced that if I can successfully make a bed on Next Wave, I can make a bed anywhere.

Really.

You try making a bed with sometimes less than 2 feet of head space to work with.  And then do that on a top bunk.  It's quite the challenge.  One becomes a bit more flexible and able to fit into tight spaces while attempting to crawl into the bed to put on a fitted sheet and duvet and make it nice and neat as you crawl out.  It takes some skill.  Skill which I am well on my way to acquiring.

Any bed after this is going to be a piece of cake.

THE SECOND:

Most of my summer days consisted of hiking, running, and rollerblading, all at a reasonably high altitude, Denver's not called the Mile High city for nothing.  The air is a bit thinner there.  But after a few days of needing to stop and catch my breath before I got to the point of passing out while doing something active (like walking up stairs...) I finally got more used to it and I could rollerblade for a solid hour without sucking up all the air.

I've gone on a few runs since being back at sea level and I definitely noticed a significant difference in my breathing in that I could actually breathe while running.  But it really hit me tonight as I began my run.  It was the fastest I've been able to run from the start and I just kept going.  It felt good.

I realized that a bit part of that probably has to do with the fact that I rollerbladed at least 3 times a week for 3 months so that definitely strengthened my legs a bit and I've been more consistent in my exercise.  But aside from that, and the point that I'm trying to make, is that I could breathe.  I could run better than I could before.

Because I trained at high altitude.

Being back on Next Wave has had it's ups and downs with delays, schedule changes, coming into a new role with new responsibilities and a new DTS beginning and everything in between.  It's been busy.  But there's a difference this time.

I know I can do it.  Whatever task or responsibility that is put on me, I trust in my abilities to accomplish those tasks.  That's a good feeling.  The things that were a challenge for me in the beginning, I can go about with confidence now that I can do it and I understand things and see things a lot better.  That's not to say there won't be things I don't know how to do and won't present me with new challenges.  But again, this time is different, my mindset is completely different.

And it's because I trained at high altitude.  (I don't mean that literally anymore, of course.  This boat has been and always will be a sea level.  That's just a fact of life.)  I've learned to make a bed well in a tight space.  I went about those challenges with barely being able to breathe trying to keep up and do what I was supposed to do.  Whether that be with staffing a new DTS (just 3 weeks after staffing another long DTS), coming to a brand new place with brand new people, living in such tight quarters, leading worship, leading outreach in Paris, leading out in other things, sailing and all that encompasses that and so much more.  It was hard.  I was tired.  I didn't often have time to catch my breath.

I can breathe now.

At first, I was a little worried about having that confidence because I thought it meant that I felt like I didn't need God to help me anymore and that He wasn't around as much because I could do it on my own.

But that's not true.  I felt His presence more today that I have in a very long time.  I know that He is with me in everything and He has prepared me (most times the hard way) for what He wants me to do and who He wants me to be.

Maybe that's where that confidence came from in the first place.

Probably.

It's the things that challenge your breathing that prepare you most for what's coming on the horizon.

I'm gonna keep running.

 

I Can Flush!

I had an amazing moment the other day.

That moment was when I was told that I no longer had to let it mellow when it was yellow.

That's right.  I can now flush the toilet every time.

It's the little things in life...

Thanks To An Irishman

I woke up to a beautiful, cool, sunny morning on the Oval in Harpenden.  One of my favorite places.  I packed up my things again and went for a walk down Cooters End Lane.  A good way to start the day.

As I made my way to London to get to the coach station, I was cutting it close on time and strength with 2 slightly heavy bags.  Then came the dreaded stairs on the Underground.  4 flights of them to be exact.  Not fun with a suitcase and guitar case.  But at each staircase, there was always someone there to help me carry it up the stairs.  Praise the Lord.

Then came the long walk from the railway station to the coach station in crowded downtown London.  But as I turned the corner, an Irishman asked if needed some help.

Yes please.

We walked and talked, getting to know each other a bit as he carried my guitar.  I made it to my bus just in time to hop on and off I went up to Liverpool.

He asked if I would say a prayer for him.
Will do Patrick.  Will do.

Back in England.
Back in Liverpool.
Back on Next Wave.

Here's to the next season.

Current Location - Liverpool, England

Overwhelmed.

Lord, show me what to do with my time 

so I can be part of what You're doing 

at all times.

Amen*

Overwhelmed.
That's my word of the week.  Or month.

There's a lot happening within the next 10 days and that's the only word I can think of to describe it.

Overwhelmed.

A lot of things are changing again soon.  Yet another time of transition is here.  As with all change, there comes a lot of fear and uncertainty of the unknown.  Worries about if it's where I should be, if it's going to be good, if I can even do it, if it's going to get me to where I need to go.  I worry so much about how it can all happen.

In 1 Samuel 12:22 of The Message translation it says: God, simply because of who He is, is not going to walk off and leave His people.  God took delight in making You into His very people.

God delights in the process.  I say this all the time but I am continuously reminded of how true that statement is.  God delights in the process and will help us see when we need to see, know when we need to know, and hear when we need to hear.  It's all part of the process of God shaping us into who He wants us to be.

A while back, a good friend of mine gave a sermon about the how.  He used the example of Jesus feeding the five thousand with just a couple loaves of bread and a few fish.  The disciples had no idea how they could possibly feed all those people.  But Jesus did.  He took the 5 loaves and 2 fish, lifted His face to heaven in prayer, blessed, broke, and gave the bread to the disciples, and the disciples in turn gave it to the people. (Mark 6:41).  As the sermon says, "When the disciples were free to trust that Jesus had the how taken care of, they could focus on what Jesus gave them to do in that moment."*

Since God has figured out the HOW we can focus on the NOW.*

When I think about what I'm doing and what I want to do in the future with my life, there's a lot of moments when I think - how is this ever going to happen?  I get consumed by worrying about the logistics of things and how and if they will all play out.  It is in this worry that I'm learning more to trust God. To come to Him in the times when I'm overwhelmed and simply say - Lord show me what to do with my time so I can be part of what You're doing at all times.

Romans 4 is all about that:

 ~ Verse 3 - What we read in scripture is, Abraham entered into what God was doing for him and that was the turning point.  He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.

~ Verse 16 - This is why the fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and His way and then simply embracing Him and what He does.  God's promise arrives as pure gift.

~ Verse 17 - God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody.

~ Verse 18 - When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn't do but on what God said He would do.

I want to be a part of what God is doing.  

Because what God does is good.  

I know that full well.  

And not just in my life but in the lives of those around me.  

I don't have to know how it's all going to happen.  I don't need to be overwhelmed by everything.  I just have to trust God with each moment of each day, trusting that He is guiding, leading, shaping,  preparing, and getting me to something greater.  Something beyond me.  Something I can't possibly think of.

What if the point of where God has you is to do something that is beyond you?*

There was a day this last week when I was feeling particularly overwhelmed and I felt like I had so much going through my head that I wouldn't be able to focus on just one thing that I needed to do.  So I prayed the prayer - Lord show me what to do with my time so I can be part of what You're doing at all times.  
I went for a run.  I ran and spent some time underneath the shade of the trees.  It was just what I needed and I was able to clear my head and refocus on what I needed to - God.  To trust God with each moment of the day leads to trusting Him with each day, each week, each month...my life.

Then things don't seem so overwhelming.

*Sermon given by Nathan Harrison

In Pieces Pt. 2

I've said it before (you can read about it here) and I'll say it again.

God speaks to me in pieces.

I feel like I'll say that for the rest of my life.

I've been home for a break here in Littleton, Colorado for 3 months now after being away for the better part of 4 and a half years.  I've done a lot during these years.  I can't count the miles I've traveled, the people I've met, the things I've done.  All of which I could never have imagined.  

A lot of reflection comes when one is in this particular situation.  Especially when that particular situation is located in Colorado.

What this reflection has brought me is the realization of all the pieces that played a part in making me who I am today: the pieces of where I've been, who I've met, who has invested in me, what I've done; and these pieces are fitting together to show me that where I have been is vital to where I'm going.

Being home, seeing where this journey with God first began, has shown me even more that each place I go prepares me for the next.  Each piece is just as important as the next.  The pieces of first going to my church during my quiet, shy, awkward stage, being invested in, being given the opportunity to serve, to lead, to welcome people, to teach, to invest in others, going on my first missions trips.  The pieces of moving, leaving my life behind to begin somewhere else, discovering my ridiculous love of organization, working at camps.  The pieces of leaving the country to do a DTS in England where I knew no one, going on outreach to new countries.  The pieces of being a leader again, of vacationing to a ship docked in Liverpool, of moving to said ship and learning to sail.  This is by no means an exhaustive list.

I love the pieces of my life and see God's incredible faithfulness in how He has directed me all these years.  Not only does he speak to me in pieces but He also directs in pieces.

These pieces have also brought me to finally discover an answer to an all too often unanswered question:

What do you want to do with your life?

Before I answer that, I'll start with a word - DREAM.  When I first went to the Next Wave, I was posed with a challenge - I want you to dream.  (Read more about that here).  And just before coming back home, I was reminded to keep dreaming.

When I first began dreaming, I wrote that an idea sparks in my brain which grows, becoming something ATTAINABLE.  That "it is something which awakens the desire to transform this seemingly unattainable possibility into a tangible reality."  I believe I'm in this place again.

So what do I want to do?  I want to pursue hospitality and my dream, my awakened desire, is to run a Bed and Breakfast.  The idea has been slowly developing and one night, while camping in Rocky Mountain National Park, watching heat lightning for an hour, the dream came and has continued to grow with excitement and motivation.

With that awakened desire in mind, I'm heading off again to adventure with the Next Wave, pursuing hospitality, worship and staff development which will prepare me in incredible ways for what I want to do in the future.  I know without a doubt that this is where God wants me to go right now.  I don't know exactly what it's going to look like but I'm excited for this possibility.

So thank you to every one of you who has been an important piece in my ever growing puzzle of my life.  It has not gone unnoticed.

On to the next season.

A Story Worth Telling

I have a story worth telling.

I love stories.

I love that life is simply that - a story.  I love that life consists of stories within a story; and stories within a story within a story.  I love that one story in your life shapes the next.  I love that one story in your life relates to a bigger part of your story.

A story for you:

We have an Open Boat on Next Wave once a week which is a time to open our doors and invite people onto the ship to give them a tour, tell them about what we do and have conversation.

Last week, a new story was lived.  A man came and was pretty quiet during the whole tour but from the moment I sat with him, he started telling me about his life and I could immediately see how God was trying to get a hold of him and change his life.  I had a great conversation with him and prayed for him in the end before he left and I hope and pray with all my heart that this story continues and it moved him just one step closer to knowing God.

I got to be a part of his story that day.
And he is now a part of mine.

That's just one small story from one small hour in a day.

A good storyteller doesn't just tell a better story though.  He invites other people into the story with him, giving them a better story too.*

What story are you living?
Who is a part of your story?
Who's story are you a part of?

I think God puts the right people in your life exactly when you need them.  Some for a long time, others for a short time.  But the amount of time doesn't matter.  What matters is what you do with that time you're given with them.

People don't live without a story, without a role to play.*

Over 2 years ago, I was about to begin a new story - A Better Story
What a story it's been.

I have a story worth telling.

It's our stories that shape us.

It is our stories that inspire others, that encourage others, that bring life to others, that allow us to relate to others.

It is hearing others' stories that we are inspired, that we are encouraged, that we come to life, that we relate to them.

I don't want to miss out on these stories.

A story is based on what people think is important, so when we live a story, we are telling people around us what we think is important.*

Do what makes you come alive.  It is when you come alive, when you truly live, that the best stories are written.
And it will be a story that brings life to anyone who reads it, anyone who sees it lived.

We all have a story worth telling.

Don't hide your story.  Don't keep your story locked within yourself.
Tell it.
Share it.
Live it.

 *Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

    

Words for Today Pt. 6

Every creative person, and I think probably ever other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good...the harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.

The story made us different characters than we would have been if we had skipped the story and showed up at the ending an easier way.

Life itself may be designed to change us, so that we evolve from one kind of person to another...humans are alive for the purpose of journey...the point wasn't the search but the transformation the search creates...We're designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us.

~Donald Miller

One Year.

One year ago, I hopped on a plane in San Francisco with a one way ticket to England.

What a year it’s been.

One year ago, I never thought that in one year’s time, I would have gone to 19 cities in 4 different countries.  

I never thought that in one year’s time I would be doing things I never thought I would or could or even imagine doing.

One year ago, I never thought that in one year’s time I would be sailing a ship into Liverpool.

That happened today.  

I thought a lot about that today as I was on the helm of the ship steering it between buoys through the channel.  Where was I this exact time last year?  I was starting a crazy new adventure with God. A lot happens in a year. 

I have learned so much about myself, so much about God, did outreach during the Olympics, created a number of lasting and incredible friendships, travelled a lot and so much more.  It would take me a really long time to go through everything from this last year.  It has been so incredible.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE YEAR (in no particular order and not an all encompassing list)

~ Room 108 - It’s hard to put into words how much Room 108 has meant to me this last year.  This is where Sidney and I lived together for a total of about 6 months.  I could write a ridiculous number of blog posts each recounting something special from Room 108 but to sum it up - BANANA.

~ Guy on a Buffalo - Search for it on YouTube

~ Snow - It snowed in February on the Oval.  This night was comprised of the back and forth of a dance party and playing in the snow.  There’s just something so great about staying up until 1AM playing in the snow with awesome people then getting up at 7AM to go for a morning walk in the woods.  It was quite possibly the best weekend ever. 

~ Next Wave in April - I had a week off so I came to the Next Wave while it was docked in Liverpool.  I spent a lot of hours sitting and reading and enjoying much needed off time.  Going to Scotland happened there as well. It was also the week that the idea was sparked for me to come back to the ship.  Lesson from this - be careful where you take your vacations...

~ Baking with Jade - enough said.

~ Breakfast and a Burn’s night - Early one Saturday morning, a small group of us grabbed some food and got on a train then walked an hour to an abandoned castle to have breakfast.  Then that night, we got all dressed up and went to a Burn’s night consisting of Haggis being paraded around the room and old folks dancing until well past 11PM.

~ IMPACT UK DTS - The first 8 months of 2012 was this DTS.  So many great people, so many memories, so many places.  So good.

~ Wales - I co-led an outreach team of 5 to another YWAM base in Wrexham, Wales and it was such a spectacular week.

~ Wales (again) - As a whole IMPACT UK DTS, we went to Cardiff for a week of outreach together.  We put up lots of tents and walked in some very deep mud.  We did more than just that...

~ Bible reading - 2012 was started off with the entire Oval community reading through the Bible out loud.  Many early morning hours were spent in the board room on the very top floor of the clock building getting tongue tied reading 1 and 2 Chronicles out loud.  You try that.

~ Nickey Line - My most favourite place.  Period.

~ Christmas - The 6 of us made that day a great holiday away from home.  We cooked, we made stockings, we blew bubbles, we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol.  It was good.

~ Wales (again) - Catherine and I took a trip up to Wales to her family's cottage.  We climbed a mountain.  And made flapjacks.  And found the co-op...

~ Next Wave - I moved to a ship in September.  Since being on this ship, life hasn't stopped.  I've sailed 4 times, only getting seasick once (woo hoo!).  It is definitely a new place with new people but I have seen God do so much in the time I've been here and I have learned so many new things, not just how to sail but more of how to lead.  

~ Sunset - I saw the most beautiful sunset on our sail to Cardiff.  I don't know if anything can beat that.

I know that this is just a very short list for a very long and full and exciting year and I have left out so many things and I'm sure once I post this I will remember even more from this year but this will suffice for now.  

A lot has happened in this last year.  I wonder what will come in the next.

   

Called Me Higher

All Sons And Daughters - Called Me Higher

I could just sit

I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness

Hope to feel Your presence

And I could just stay

I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You

Hope to feel something again.

And I could hold on

I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside

And I could be safe

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home

Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where You will lead me Lord

You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where You lead me Lord

Where You lead me

Where You lead me Lord

And I will be Yours

I will be Yours for all my life

So let Your mercy light the path before me

It's been quite the adjustment living here on a ship with all these new faces.  Some days I just don't understand it.  Correction - MOST days I don't understand it.  God's plans are so much more than I could ever think.  This exact time last year, I was seconds away from deciding to not even come back to England.  If you were to tell me then that a year later I would be living on a ship staffing my second DTS, I would say - 'Yeah, ok sure.  Not gonna happen."  But it did.  Here I am.

God is calling me higher.

The other night I was attempting to practice for leading worship the next morning but I happened to write a song instead which simply stated - 'You're calling me forth.  You're calling me out.'  Then I come across this song "Called me Higher" which states the same thing and with even more meaning to me.  This song has been on repeat all day long.  It's on my list of songs I want to learn to play.

So what does this mean?  What does it me for God to be calling my higher?  To be calling me forth?  To be calling me out?  At the moment, it means that I don't need to run and hide behind anyone anymore.  This is my time to truly take everything that I've learned from my time in YWAM and even before and really live it out to the fullest and not be afraid.  It's about letting down these walls that I've always built up to protect myself.  I can truly be who God has created me to be.

God is calling me higher.

You turned my wailing into dancing;

You removed my sackcloth

and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you

and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever.

~ Psalm 30:11-12

   

What I Do Doesn't Make Sense

“I’m not out to make sense of everything.  But I want sense enough to fall back on You.”

~ Simon Hoskyn

Week 1 - What a week it’s been

Sunday

~ 5 minute car ride from the Oval to the train station

~ 30 minute train ride from Harpenden to London

~ 10 minute Underground Tube ride

~ 10 minute walk to the coach station

~ 2 hour bus ride from London to Southampton

~ 20 minute walk to the ferry terminal

~ 1 hour ferry ride from Southampton to Cowes, Isle of Wight

~ 20 minute walk to The Next Wave (a.k.a - my new home)

Monday - Friday

This past week I’ve been taking part of a training course which included basic first aid, sea survival, firefighting and social responsibility.  

All suited up

These 5 days were packed full of learning so many new things in theory and then practically doing them.  I jumped into the sea with a dry suit on learning how to maneuver around, pull people with me, flip over a life raft and get into one and a few other things as well.  I also got to go into a dark container learning to use the breathing apparatus, searching in the dark with team, putting out fires with hoses and extinguishers, and saving a casualty.  Because of this training, I now notice where all the fire extinguishers and fire escapes are on board the ship.  So that's good.

Saturday

Open Boat

Once a week the ship opens up to the public and people can come and get a free tour around the ship.  This is an easy way of showing people what we actually do here on the ship.  There were so many that came for the afternoon.  I got to give my first tour of the ship even though I’ve only been here for a week.  

Sunday

I woke up to find that we were no longer connected to the dock but we were out to sea.  The wind and rain was coming in so it was decided in the middle of the night for us to go somewhere else to get away from the dock and not destroy the ship.  So with this came my first anchor watch.  My job for an hour and a half was to sit in the wheel house watching the navigation system and radar.  We moved quite a bit, lots of figure eights through the water.  The wind and rain and current of the water was pretty heavy so the ship was rocking in every direction which meant that I definitely got my first little taste of feeling a bit ill at sea.  After spending the day at anchor, we brought the ship back in to another dock.  My job was to jump off and attach the lines to the dock in the wind and rain.  

Quite the day.

Sometimes I just can’t help but think that what I do just doesn’t make sense.

When I was doing the training course, almost everyone was there in hopes of furthering their chances at finding a job.  Some on pleasure yachts, some on cruise ships.  So when asked what I was doing, it was completely different than everyone else there.  It just doesn’t make sense in the world’s eyes.  I realized that I ALREADY HAVE THE JOB.  My job - loving God and loving others, helping people be the best they can be, staffing this DTS, working on the ship, living life to the fullest, serving in any way I can, being a blessing to others.  I can be confident in the fact that God has brought me to this place and this is where He wants me to be and what He wants me to be doing.

MY JOB IS TO BE JESUS TO PEOPLE.

The DTS starts next week.  That came up quick.  We already have a few DTS students with us on board already so in a sense, it’s already begun.  The rest of the students will be getting here this coming weekend.  

   
So it begins...again....