In Pieces Pt. 2

I've said it before (you can read about it here) and I'll say it again.

God speaks to me in pieces.

I feel like I'll say that for the rest of my life.

I've been home for a break here in Littleton, Colorado for 3 months now after being away for the better part of 4 and a half years.  I've done a lot during these years.  I can't count the miles I've traveled, the people I've met, the things I've done.  All of which I could never have imagined.  

A lot of reflection comes when one is in this particular situation.  Especially when that particular situation is located in Colorado.

What this reflection has brought me is the realization of all the pieces that played a part in making me who I am today: the pieces of where I've been, who I've met, who has invested in me, what I've done; and these pieces are fitting together to show me that where I have been is vital to where I'm going.

Being home, seeing where this journey with God first began, has shown me even more that each place I go prepares me for the next.  Each piece is just as important as the next.  The pieces of first going to my church during my quiet, shy, awkward stage, being invested in, being given the opportunity to serve, to lead, to welcome people, to teach, to invest in others, going on my first missions trips.  The pieces of moving, leaving my life behind to begin somewhere else, discovering my ridiculous love of organization, working at camps.  The pieces of leaving the country to do a DTS in England where I knew no one, going on outreach to new countries.  The pieces of being a leader again, of vacationing to a ship docked in Liverpool, of moving to said ship and learning to sail.  This is by no means an exhaustive list.

I love the pieces of my life and see God's incredible faithfulness in how He has directed me all these years.  Not only does he speak to me in pieces but He also directs in pieces.

These pieces have also brought me to finally discover an answer to an all too often unanswered question:

What do you want to do with your life?

Before I answer that, I'll start with a word - DREAM.  When I first went to the Next Wave, I was posed with a challenge - I want you to dream.  (Read more about that here).  And just before coming back home, I was reminded to keep dreaming.

When I first began dreaming, I wrote that an idea sparks in my brain which grows, becoming something ATTAINABLE.  That "it is something which awakens the desire to transform this seemingly unattainable possibility into a tangible reality."  I believe I'm in this place again.

So what do I want to do?  I want to pursue hospitality and my dream, my awakened desire, is to run a Bed and Breakfast.  The idea has been slowly developing and one night, while camping in Rocky Mountain National Park, watching heat lightning for an hour, the dream came and has continued to grow with excitement and motivation.

With that awakened desire in mind, I'm heading off again to adventure with the Next Wave, pursuing hospitality, worship and staff development which will prepare me in incredible ways for what I want to do in the future.  I know without a doubt that this is where God wants me to go right now.  I don't know exactly what it's going to look like but I'm excited for this possibility.

So thank you to every one of you who has been an important piece in my ever growing puzzle of my life.  It has not gone unnoticed.

On to the next season.

A Story Worth Telling

I have a story worth telling.

I love stories.

I love that life is simply that - a story.  I love that life consists of stories within a story; and stories within a story within a story.  I love that one story in your life shapes the next.  I love that one story in your life relates to a bigger part of your story.

A story for you:

We have an Open Boat on Next Wave once a week which is a time to open our doors and invite people onto the ship to give them a tour, tell them about what we do and have conversation.

Last week, a new story was lived.  A man came and was pretty quiet during the whole tour but from the moment I sat with him, he started telling me about his life and I could immediately see how God was trying to get a hold of him and change his life.  I had a great conversation with him and prayed for him in the end before he left and I hope and pray with all my heart that this story continues and it moved him just one step closer to knowing God.

I got to be a part of his story that day.
And he is now a part of mine.

That's just one small story from one small hour in a day.

A good storyteller doesn't just tell a better story though.  He invites other people into the story with him, giving them a better story too.*

What story are you living?
Who is a part of your story?
Who's story are you a part of?

I think God puts the right people in your life exactly when you need them.  Some for a long time, others for a short time.  But the amount of time doesn't matter.  What matters is what you do with that time you're given with them.

People don't live without a story, without a role to play.*

Over 2 years ago, I was about to begin a new story - A Better Story
What a story it's been.

I have a story worth telling.

It's our stories that shape us.

It is our stories that inspire others, that encourage others, that bring life to others, that allow us to relate to others.

It is hearing others' stories that we are inspired, that we are encouraged, that we come to life, that we relate to them.

I don't want to miss out on these stories.

A story is based on what people think is important, so when we live a story, we are telling people around us what we think is important.*

Do what makes you come alive.  It is when you come alive, when you truly live, that the best stories are written.
And it will be a story that brings life to anyone who reads it, anyone who sees it lived.

We all have a story worth telling.

Don't hide your story.  Don't keep your story locked within yourself.
Tell it.
Share it.
Live it.

 *Donald Miller - A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

    

Words for Today Pt. 6

Every creative person, and I think probably ever other person, faces resistance when they are trying to create something good...the harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.

The story made us different characters than we would have been if we had skipped the story and showed up at the ending an easier way.

Life itself may be designed to change us, so that we evolve from one kind of person to another...humans are alive for the purpose of journey...the point wasn't the search but the transformation the search creates...We're designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us.

~Donald Miller

One Year.

One year ago, I hopped on a plane in San Francisco with a one way ticket to England.

What a year it’s been.

One year ago, I never thought that in one year’s time, I would have gone to 19 cities in 4 different countries.  

I never thought that in one year’s time I would be doing things I never thought I would or could or even imagine doing.

One year ago, I never thought that in one year’s time I would be sailing a ship into Liverpool.

That happened today.  

I thought a lot about that today as I was on the helm of the ship steering it between buoys through the channel.  Where was I this exact time last year?  I was starting a crazy new adventure with God. A lot happens in a year. 

I have learned so much about myself, so much about God, did outreach during the Olympics, created a number of lasting and incredible friendships, travelled a lot and so much more.  It would take me a really long time to go through everything from this last year.  It has been so incredible.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE YEAR (in no particular order and not an all encompassing list)

~ Room 108 - It’s hard to put into words how much Room 108 has meant to me this last year.  This is where Sidney and I lived together for a total of about 6 months.  I could write a ridiculous number of blog posts each recounting something special from Room 108 but to sum it up - BANANA.

~ Guy on a Buffalo - Search for it on YouTube

~ Snow - It snowed in February on the Oval.  This night was comprised of the back and forth of a dance party and playing in the snow.  There’s just something so great about staying up until 1AM playing in the snow with awesome people then getting up at 7AM to go for a morning walk in the woods.  It was quite possibly the best weekend ever. 

~ Next Wave in April - I had a week off so I came to the Next Wave while it was docked in Liverpool.  I spent a lot of hours sitting and reading and enjoying much needed off time.  Going to Scotland happened there as well. It was also the week that the idea was sparked for me to come back to the ship.  Lesson from this - be careful where you take your vacations...

~ Baking with Jade - enough said.

~ Breakfast and a Burn’s night - Early one Saturday morning, a small group of us grabbed some food and got on a train then walked an hour to an abandoned castle to have breakfast.  Then that night, we got all dressed up and went to a Burn’s night consisting of Haggis being paraded around the room and old folks dancing until well past 11PM.

~ IMPACT UK DTS - The first 8 months of 2012 was this DTS.  So many great people, so many memories, so many places.  So good.

~ Wales - I co-led an outreach team of 5 to another YWAM base in Wrexham, Wales and it was such a spectacular week.

~ Wales (again) - As a whole IMPACT UK DTS, we went to Cardiff for a week of outreach together.  We put up lots of tents and walked in some very deep mud.  We did more than just that...

~ Bible reading - 2012 was started off with the entire Oval community reading through the Bible out loud.  Many early morning hours were spent in the board room on the very top floor of the clock building getting tongue tied reading 1 and 2 Chronicles out loud.  You try that.

~ Nickey Line - My most favourite place.  Period.

~ Christmas - The 6 of us made that day a great holiday away from home.  We cooked, we made stockings, we blew bubbles, we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol.  It was good.

~ Wales (again) - Catherine and I took a trip up to Wales to her family's cottage.  We climbed a mountain.  And made flapjacks.  And found the co-op...

~ Next Wave - I moved to a ship in September.  Since being on this ship, life hasn't stopped.  I've sailed 4 times, only getting seasick once (woo hoo!).  It is definitely a new place with new people but I have seen God do so much in the time I've been here and I have learned so many new things, not just how to sail but more of how to lead.  

~ Sunset - I saw the most beautiful sunset on our sail to Cardiff.  I don't know if anything can beat that.

I know that this is just a very short list for a very long and full and exciting year and I have left out so many things and I'm sure once I post this I will remember even more from this year but this will suffice for now.  

A lot has happened in this last year.  I wonder what will come in the next.

   

Called Me Higher

All Sons And Daughters - Called Me Higher

I could just sit

I could just sit and wait for all Your goodness

Hope to feel Your presence

And I could just stay

I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel You

Hope to feel something again.

And I could hold on

I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside

And I could be safe

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home

Never let these walls down

But You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where You will lead me Lord

You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where You lead me Lord

Where You lead me

Where You lead me Lord

And I will be Yours

I will be Yours for all my life

So let Your mercy light the path before me

It's been quite the adjustment living here on a ship with all these new faces.  Some days I just don't understand it.  Correction - MOST days I don't understand it.  God's plans are so much more than I could ever think.  This exact time last year, I was seconds away from deciding to not even come back to England.  If you were to tell me then that a year later I would be living on a ship staffing my second DTS, I would say - 'Yeah, ok sure.  Not gonna happen."  But it did.  Here I am.

God is calling me higher.

The other night I was attempting to practice for leading worship the next morning but I happened to write a song instead which simply stated - 'You're calling me forth.  You're calling me out.'  Then I come across this song "Called me Higher" which states the same thing and with even more meaning to me.  This song has been on repeat all day long.  It's on my list of songs I want to learn to play.

So what does this mean?  What does it me for God to be calling my higher?  To be calling me forth?  To be calling me out?  At the moment, it means that I don't need to run and hide behind anyone anymore.  This is my time to truly take everything that I've learned from my time in YWAM and even before and really live it out to the fullest and not be afraid.  It's about letting down these walls that I've always built up to protect myself.  I can truly be who God has created me to be.

God is calling me higher.

You turned my wailing into dancing;

You removed my sackcloth

and clothed me with joy,

that my heart may sing to you

and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give You thanks forever.

~ Psalm 30:11-12

   

What I Do Doesn't Make Sense

“I’m not out to make sense of everything.  But I want sense enough to fall back on You.”

~ Simon Hoskyn

Week 1 - What a week it’s been

Sunday

~ 5 minute car ride from the Oval to the train station

~ 30 minute train ride from Harpenden to London

~ 10 minute Underground Tube ride

~ 10 minute walk to the coach station

~ 2 hour bus ride from London to Southampton

~ 20 minute walk to the ferry terminal

~ 1 hour ferry ride from Southampton to Cowes, Isle of Wight

~ 20 minute walk to The Next Wave (a.k.a - my new home)

Monday - Friday

This past week I’ve been taking part of a training course which included basic first aid, sea survival, firefighting and social responsibility.  

All suited up

These 5 days were packed full of learning so many new things in theory and then practically doing them.  I jumped into the sea with a dry suit on learning how to maneuver around, pull people with me, flip over a life raft and get into one and a few other things as well.  I also got to go into a dark container learning to use the breathing apparatus, searching in the dark with team, putting out fires with hoses and extinguishers, and saving a casualty.  Because of this training, I now notice where all the fire extinguishers and fire escapes are on board the ship.  So that's good.

Saturday

Open Boat

Once a week the ship opens up to the public and people can come and get a free tour around the ship.  This is an easy way of showing people what we actually do here on the ship.  There were so many that came for the afternoon.  I got to give my first tour of the ship even though I’ve only been here for a week.  

Sunday

I woke up to find that we were no longer connected to the dock but we were out to sea.  The wind and rain was coming in so it was decided in the middle of the night for us to go somewhere else to get away from the dock and not destroy the ship.  So with this came my first anchor watch.  My job for an hour and a half was to sit in the wheel house watching the navigation system and radar.  We moved quite a bit, lots of figure eights through the water.  The wind and rain and current of the water was pretty heavy so the ship was rocking in every direction which meant that I definitely got my first little taste of feeling a bit ill at sea.  After spending the day at anchor, we brought the ship back in to another dock.  My job was to jump off and attach the lines to the dock in the wind and rain.  

Quite the day.

Sometimes I just can’t help but think that what I do just doesn’t make sense.

When I was doing the training course, almost everyone was there in hopes of furthering their chances at finding a job.  Some on pleasure yachts, some on cruise ships.  So when asked what I was doing, it was completely different than everyone else there.  It just doesn’t make sense in the world’s eyes.  I realized that I ALREADY HAVE THE JOB.  My job - loving God and loving others, helping people be the best they can be, staffing this DTS, working on the ship, living life to the fullest, serving in any way I can, being a blessing to others.  I can be confident in the fact that God has brought me to this place and this is where He wants me to be and what He wants me to be doing.

MY JOB IS TO BE JESUS TO PEOPLE.

The DTS starts next week.  That came up quick.  We already have a few DTS students with us on board already so in a sense, it’s already begun.  The rest of the students will be getting here this coming weekend.  

   
So it begins...again....

    

Attainable.

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

So many possibilities, so much potential.  Where does it even begin?

It begins with an idea.

Now I'm no scientist and I don't know how the brain works.  But somewhere in this constant flow of neurons and other electric currents which send signals to my legs to make them walk, my arms to make them embrace, my heart to make it beat, the smallest of charges makes its way to a certain part of my brain which sparks an idea.  Here it begins to grow and take shape into something.

SOMETHING.

Something new, something different, something uniquely designed, something original. 

Something attainable.

It is this something which awakens the desire to transform this seemingly unattainable possibility into a tangible reality.

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

I've never been a big dreamer.  Sure, I've had an imagination where I would conjure up stories and songs and scenarios of something outside myself.  But somewhere, my imagination became just that - imaginary.  Not real, not possible, non-existent.  So why begin to dream?  Why put myself through the joy and excitement of these dreams only to be disappointed by the realization that it would never happen?

The blank canvas stares me in the face.

But finally, once again, this long, lost neuron charges its way from the cells in my brain to the depths of my heart then back to that one place which sparks this idea, this imagination, this dream, this desire.  The possibilities of what could be, go rushing through my head.

This time.  This time it's different.

This time.  This time there is hope in these possibilities.

A hope which tells me that this awakened desire of what could be, can be and will be.

    

It Starts Soon!

Words For Today Pt. 5

Every time you venture out in your life of faith, you will find something in your circumstances that, from a commonsense standpoint, will flatly contradict your faith.  But common sense is not faith and faith is not common sense.

Can you venture out with courage on the words of Jesus Christ, while the realities of your common sense life continue to shout, 'it's all a lie?'

Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it.

Faith must be tested, because it can only become your intimate possession through conflict.

The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. 'We have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence to the end.' (Hebrews 3:14).  Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith.

~ Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the TESTING OF YOUR FAITH develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

~ James 1:2-4

3 Countries - 1 Week

Here's the scenario...

DTS has graduated.
Trainees have gone home.
Staff debrief has finished.
A lot of staff have gone home.
There's a couple weeks before life gets crazy again.
Need to get off the Oval for a bit.
What to do?

How's about go to Wales, the southeast coast of England and France?
All 3 in one week?
OK.

I had the amazing opportunity to go with a friend to her family's cottage in the north of Wales for a few days to get off the Oval for a bit and just relax and spend some quality time together.

We decided to go for a walk through lots of fields.  It was a bit muddy.

Sticking to the footpath

We decided to climb this mountain.  We could not have picked a more perfect day to do it.

From the top

Lunge

Another walk along the hills

We make good treats.

Then I got to go with another friend to the southeast coast of England to spend a couple days there by the sea.
We decided it would be fun to go see the famous White Cliffs of Dover since it was so close.
So we did.

Then we decided to hop on a ferry and go to France for a couple hours to walk around and eat crepes and baguettes. 

As you do.

From the water we had such a great view of the cliffs.

So from the top of a mountain in North Wales to the sea at the south of England and across over to France - I would say that's a pretty good week.